


More Alive

by pinkfanatic_2013



Category: The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms, The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:07:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 43,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25295896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkfanatic_2013/pseuds/pinkfanatic_2013
Summary: This is my rewrite of Season 4 from Damon's point of view :)
Relationships: Elena Gilbert/Damon Salvatore
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my very first fan fiction and I'm very excited (read- nervous) to share it with you :)
> 
> As I was rewatching season 4, I was curious as to how Damon felt about the events that occurred, particularly the sire bond. We get a little taste of his thoughts but I'm greedy and wanted more. I decided to rewrite season 4 from Damon's point of view. Many of the conversations will be verbatim from the show but interlaced with Damon's inner thoughts and motivations. I have also included some scenes that were either only alluded to in the show OR scenes that I imagined would fit in the original story.
> 
> I don't have any plans to divert from canon at this moment, only tell the same story from a different point of view. Damon was a lot of fun to write. He's my spirt animal, but, he's also incredibly attractive ;) Not sure what that means. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

“You are not dead…. you are not dead.” That phrase repeated on a loop like a broken record, desperately hoping each time he uttered it, it would breath life back into the desiccating corpse of his former friend. Ric would suddenly awaken, punch him in the jaw for trying to kill him, extend his hand, and offer to buy the first round. Damon would do anything to get his best friend and drinking buddy back, but that wasn’t the thought that took up residence at the forefront of his mind. It was Elena, her life was tied to Ric’s. If Ric was dying, she was …. No, he couldn’t think that. There had to be another reason.

 _Bonnie_ , he thought. Maybe that good for nothing Bennett witch had finally managed to unlink their lives. Even if she had, it still didn’t account for Ric’s spontaneous desiccation, but it was hope. And right now, he clung to it like a drowning man grasping for a rope in the sea, because the alternative was to drown in his reality.

He released Ric from his tight grasp and attempted to arrange his body in a respectable manner. He briefly recognized that this was the last time he would see his friend, even if it was only his grey veined corpse. He knew he should pause and say something, pay his respects or what not, but every fiber in his being pulled him back to Mystic Falls, to Elena. He wouldn’t accept what his mind was telling him, he wouldn’t believe it, not until he saw her body with his own eyes. He couldn’t fathom a world without her in it.

He ran to the black SUV he had compelled from an unwilling Mystic Fall’s resident. The Salvatore automobiles weren’t known for their coffin sized trunk spaces. He grabbed the keys from his front pocket, grateful they were still there after being thrown around the storage room floor all night like a rag doll. Damon fought to steady his hands as he eased the key into the ignition. He was shaking. His mind might be willing to cling to the hope of Bonnie Bennett and her witchy woo, but his body was already beginning to betray him. His eyes, alternating between cobolt blue and red and veined as he fought of the waves of grief and helplessness that threatened to overtake him. He took a deep breath and mentally tamped his emotions down. Now was not the time to sink. He needed to move.

He managed to start the SUV and accelerated out of the storage facility, leaving tire tracks, a crispy original hybrid, and the corpse of his best friend in his wake. He set his sights on Mystic Falls. The trees and road signs blurring as the highway passed him by. Almost as if they were leading him home. To find what? He wasn’t sure.

* * *

“Where is she? Where is she?” Damon growled as he shoved open the hallway doors to the east wing of the hospital. Dr. Fell rushed towards him, attempting to halt him in his rampage to find Elena, to discover the truth. She grabbed his arm and yanked him around, so he was facing her, fire in his eyes, barely restraining the rage he felt at her interference.

“Damon, wait. You have to understand. When Jeremy brought Elena in early, her injuries were much worse than I let on. It wasn’t a concussion. It was a cerebral hemorrhage. Bleeding in the brain.” She choked out, breathless.

“What are you saying?” Damon demanded, his voice laced with irritation and contempt towards the incompetent doctor standing in front of him.

“He was so worried. I didn’t want to tell him. I helped her. She needed my _help_.”

“You what?” he asked, incredulously. They looked at one another for a beat. She could not be suggesting what he thought she was suggesting. His hand twitched, itching to wrap itself around the petite doctor’s throat. Wanting to watch the life drain out of her eyes as she wrestled with the guilt she so readily deserved. As he moved to make good on this desire, he heard a gasp come from the door behind Meredith. He shoved her aside and strode into the morgue where Elena was lying on a steel slab, soaking wet, and gasping for air. Stefan’s eyes were wide with shock and glassy with unshed tears as he rose out of his chair and took a step back to take in her now breathing body. Damon paused at the threshold of the room, taking in his brother still standing frozen a few feet from the metal table, and Elena, barely conscious, still coughing and working air into her lungs.

“Somebody better tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Eventually, Meredith came in to check on Elena and give her a sedative to calm down. As she worked on Elena, Damon yanked Stefan out into the hallway to get some answers. Stefan recounted the story of the evening. He told Damon about Rebecca and how she had called him, recanting their deal with Elijah. She wanted to retaliate for the killing of her brother and wanted to kill Ric to protect the rest of her family. Stefan told him how he ran as fast as he could to the highway to try and meet Matt’s truck, but he was too late. He watched Rebekah stand in the middle of the bridge as Matt’s truck came towards her. He watched the truck go off the bridge and told how he had jumped in after it, but he couldn’t get her out in time. As he was finishing his story, his voice trailed off and it seemed as though he refused to meet Damon’s eyes.

Damon scrunched up his face in confusion. “What am I missing? You’re a fucking vampire and you couldn’t get one girl out of a truck? Did Rebecca jump in and try and stop you?”

“No… it wasn’t that.”

“Well then spill, Stefan. I am _not_ in the mood to play 20 questions right now!”

Still refusing to meet Damon’s eyes, Stefan nervously bit his lip before answering, “When I jumped in, I found the truck right away, but Elena told me to save him first.”

“Save who?”

“Matt.”

Damon’s eyes widened. _Donovan_? Rage clouded his vision. He was pretty sure if he was a cartoon, steam would be coming out of his ears. _Stefan saved the quarterback first?_ He punched his brother across the jaw, reveling in the crunch it made as it broke, even if it would heal in a matter of seconds. It wasn’t enough. He wanted to beat his brother until he couldn’t stand but he forced himself to cease his pummeling. He needed to know the rest of the story. With barely restrained rage coursing through his veins, Damon grabbed Stefan’s shoulders and shook him until Stefan met his eyes.

“Why? Why the ever-loving fuck, would you save Donovan, over Elena. Why?!” Damon felt the anger at his brother bubbling under the surface, urging him to snap his brother’s neck and not stop until the entire hospital, no, all of Mystic Falls felt his rage.

Stefan shook his brother’s hands off of his shoulders and composed himself. Choosing to look Damon in the eyes, daring him to question his actions. “Because she asked me to.”

“So you let Elena make the decision, again? You both knew she had vampire blood in her system, so you just let her choose to become a vampire? What is wrong with you? Isn’t this what we have been trying so hard to avoid?”

Stefan’s faux confidence faltered at Damon’s question. His shoulders hunched forward as his eyes drifted somewhere closer to Damon’s collar than his face. “I didn’t know….” He mumbled, barely audible over steady din of hospital noises.

“You didn’t know what?” Damon paused, confused at his brother’s confession.

“I didn’t know she had vampire blood in her system.”

“YOU WHAT?” Damon let out a growl as he lunged at his brother, eyes scarlet and veined, fangs descending as he intended to rip into his brother, literally.

“KNOCK IT OFF!”

Damon paused as his teeth were inches away from his brother’s neck. He turned to find the source of the yell, surprised when he saw it was little Gilbert, standing near the nurses’ station at the end of the hallway.

“I said stop.” Jeremy continued, walking towards the brothers, his words, quieter in volume yet somehow holding the same amount of force.

“Not so sure you’d be all team peace, hope and love right now, little Gilbert, if you knew what the captain america himself had done tonight.” Damon spat out as he reluctantly released his brother, pushing him away. He allowed his fangs to retreat but left his eyes tinged with red, to warn Jeremy that now was not the time to push him.

“I know what he did, Damon. Meredith called me and filled me in on everything.” On the word ‘everything’ Jeremy narrowed his eyes in disgust as he looked over to Stefan, who at least had the good sense to look contrite.

“Trust me, I’m pissed. I’m beyond pissed. But being mad isn’t going to undo what Stefan did. It’s not going to make Elena.. human again.” His voice faltered but he gave a little cough and continued. “We need a plan. We can’t just leave her here. She’s in transition. So, you two need to stow your shit so we can figure out what to do next.”

As much as he hated to admit it, little Gilbert was right. He could beat the shit out of Stefan after they got Elena settled and made a plan. Damon took a deep breath to calm himself, his body still itching to finish what he’d started. Elena, he needed to focus on her. A plan, they needed a plan.

“We’ll take her back to our house. We have plenty of room and a fridge full of blood bags in the basement. She can finish her transition there.” Damon stated, moving towards the morgue, ready to retrieve Elena.

Stefan held out a hand to pause his brother. “I think we should take her back to her house. She’ll be more comfortable there and Rebecca can’t get in.”

“You know what Stefan, I don’t really give a FUCK what you think. I think you’ve made enough decisions for one day.” Damon retorted, the rage he had been repressing beginning to break through his resolve.

“I think Stefan is right, Damon.” Jeremy reluctantly agreed, “She’ll be safer at our house. None of the originals can get in except Ellijah, and I think she’ll be more comfortable in her own bed.”

Damon glared at Jeremy and his brother. His mouth forming a thin line as he contemplated their options. “Fine”, he conceded, “We’ll take Elena to her house. But if you think I’m leaving her alone with you and captain hero hair over here, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Stefan and Jeremy nodded their agreement as they all made their way back into the room labeled ‘morgue’, where Elena was currently curled up on the steel table, covered in a thin baby blue hospital blanket, and blissfully unaware of the tension brewing around her. Stefan and Jeremy went over to Dr. Fell and begin to converse in hushed voices, probably filling the Doc in on their plan to take Elena home.

Damon turned from them to finally check on Elena himself. As he moved closer to the table, he could see as her eyebrows pinch and her bottom lip wobble as she slept. He could feel his heart breaking for what she had already been through and what she would go through when she finally woke up. She didn’t need to be haunted in her dreams as well. He gently placed his hand on her forehead, easing her dreams until her face relaxed and her breathing evened. She shivered in her sleep, and the thin hospital blanket slipped from her shoulders until it was bunched around her waist. Damon reached out and gingerly adjusted the blanket, tucking her in the best he could on a metal autopsy slab.

As Stefan and Jeremy ironed out the details with Meredith, Damon watched Elena sleep and let his mind wander. Although they had never talked about it directly, Damon knew this isn’t what she wanted. She may have thrived on the adventure and passion that comes from associating with supernatural creatures, but, deep down, she loved being human. He used to imagine her as a vampire, Elena the compassionate vampire, they would call her. Probably stick to the bunny diet like Stefan, maybe a blood bag here and there. But as he got to know her, he realized he wanted Elena to have what she wanted, a human life. He wanted her to have the picket fence and a dog, 2.5 kids and maybe even a stupid little human husband someday. Okay, maybe not the last part, but the rest of it, he wanted for her. And now, because of his brother, and stupid football hands McGee, she’d lost that forever.

Stefan and Jeremy were still in the corner arguing about who’s car to take. _Enough of this_ he thought. Ignoring his brother’s jealous glare, he gently gathered Elena into his arms and carried her out the door. As if carrying her away from her humanity and into her new life as a vampire.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 episode 1 
> 
> Elena wakes up. Damon has to deal.

It had been hours since they had brought Elena home from the hospital. She had woken a few times but didn’t seem to be coherent. Her eyes would flutter open as she mumbled her complaints about the noise around her, and the bright light of the street lamps. Other than that, she was still blissfully unaware of her current circumstances

Stefan had been the one to carry her in from the car and up to her bedroom. Damon watched, arms folded, leaning on the bedroom door frame, as Stefan gently laid her on the bed and covered her with a blanket, using his hand to caress the side of her face, moving some hair off of her cheek. He sat on the edge of the bed, one leg folded up underneath him as he grabbed her arm, apparently ready to sit diligently by her side during this trying time. Damon scoffed in response, rolling his eyes. “Do you think holding her hand is going to make you feel better? It’s not going to undo what you did.”

Stefan’s gaze didn’t move from Elena’s sleeping frame. “I know you’re pissed Damon. I know you don’t understand why I did it. But what’s done is done. All I can do is be here for her.”

Damon pushed himself off of the door frame and walked over Elena’s window nook and sat down. “You should have been there for her tonight. She needed you to _save her life_ not hold her hand.”

“I did what she asked me to do. And now I have to live with that.”

Damon huffed in response as he turned to peek out the curtain to the street below. He watched as the mailwoman moved from house to house delivering the morning’s post, dogs barking, kids riding their bikes. The world outside passed by while time in the house seemed to stand still.

Damon had just been ready to head downstairs to check on Jeremy and maybe raid the Gilbert family booze cabinet when Elena opened her eyes with gasp. She sat up quickly, clearly disoriented. She panted as her head swiveled from one side to the other as if trying to pin down exactly where she was. Stefan leaned forward as Elena continued to take heaving breaths, whimpering on her exhales. After a few moments, she seemed to realize she was back home in her room and she wasn’t alone.

“Stefan?” She whispered, as if not believing he was really in front of her.

“Hey, I’m here.” He whispered, rubbing her arm in assurance. “You’ve been in and out for hours.”

“What happened?” she asked, voice trembling.

Stefan paused, looking down at the bedspread in front of him. “You were in an accident.”

Understanding crossed her face. “Oh my god, Matt! Is he…?” Her eyes went wide in a panic.

“Is he alive?” Damon interrupted. Inserting himself into Stefan and Elena’s moment. “Ask Stefan. The hero.” He turned his head towards Stefan, grimacing.

Elena briefly looked at him, as if just realizing Damon was here too. She quickly turned her gaze back to Stefan, imploring him to answer the question.

“He’s fine.” Stefan assured.

“Thank you” Elena whispered breathlessly. “I thought that I…. how did you…?”

Damon could tell Elena was desperately trying to put the pieces of the accident together, to understand how she was even here right now. Well, now was the time to rip off the band aid, clue her in on what the cost was of her hero’s actions. “Save you? He didn’t.” He gave Stefan another narrowed glare.

Elena looked back at Stefan in confusion. Stefan briefly explained the events leading up to the accident. Damon added that Rebecca had been the one to run the truck off the road, and that Elena had vampire blood in her system when it all went down.

Her eyes grew wide, filling with unshed tears. Damon watched as her bottom lip began to tremble as the pieces of the night fell into place. “Am I… am I dead?” she demanded, emotion filling her voice, causing it to shake. Apparently, their silence was all the confirmation she needed. She shook her head, eyes darting in a panic, probably looking to run but realizing it wouldn’t do her any good. She couldn’t run away from this problem. “No, no… that wasn’t supposed to happen!” she pleaded, looking at Stefan.

“Maybe it doesn’t have to.” Stefan leaned forward, grabbing her hand again. “I talked to Bonnie and she said she’s stronger than ever. Maybe there’s something she can do.”

 _Wow, the hero complex was strong with this one_. Damon thought. How dare Stefan give Elena false hope. The sooner she could accept her new reality, the sooner she could start to move on and live again. _Why am I forever cursed with being the sole voice of reason_? He mentally rolled his eyes. “No, the only thing that is going to help, is for you to feed and complete the transition.”

“We have all day before she has to feed, Damon. That’s all day to exhaust every possible way out of this.”

 _Why was Stefan so insistent on giving her false hope_? “There is no way out of this! We all know the drill, you feed or you die. There is no door number 3.” Maybe Mr. Hero hair wasn’t feeling so heroic about his decision to save the quarterback anymore, that’s why he was clinging to all of this false hope. Even so, that didn’t mean Stefan had to drag Elena into his delusion only to crush her with reality in 24 hours.

“I don’t want to be a vampire.” Elena choked out, letting the tears fall. His heart twisted as he watched the girl he loved be overcome with the devastation of her impending reality. He sighed as he looked up at her. She was just so stubborn. He wanted to fight Stefan on this, make them both see reason, but when Elena turned her eyes towards him, glassy with tears and full of hopelessness, Damon sighed, and he felt his resolve weaken. He put his hands up in defeat, “Your choice, Elena. As always.”

She turned back to Stefan who reassured her with a nod and another squeeze of her hand.

Damon stood up and walked out of her room to leave them to their moment. Just because they wanted to spend the day chasing an imaginary unicorn cure for vampirism, didn’t mean he had to stick around and watch her be crushed by the inevitable. He needed a drink. Time to find out where the Gilberts keep their good liquor.

* * *

After drinking the quarter bottle of cheap whiskey he had found in the kitchen and fighting with his brother, again, he left and made his way to the grill to drink his way through their top shelf bourbon, kill Matt Donovan, and then maybe go home with the bartender. _Seems like a good way to kill an afternoon_ he thought. _Literally_ , he chuckled to himself. He got all the way to front door of the Grill before he realized he couldn’t make himself go inside. He knew If he walked in, he would turn and look at the bar, but it would be empty. There would be no one waiting for him, two fingers already poured in each glass, ready to slide one over. He would sit down and no one would come up behind him, slap him on the shoulder and ask “What’s up buddy?”. The wave of loss he had been repressing since last night, threatened to overtake him as he took a shuddering breath, staring at the chipped paint of the front door. Ric was gone, for good this time. No magic ring to bring him back, just gone. Damon shook his head to clear it as he turned and darted away from the door. No, he couldn’t go back there. As he walked towards the town square he pondered his next move. If he couldn’t go into the grill to punish Matt, then there was someone else he could punish.

Damon crept in the door of the Michaelson mansion, surprised no one seemed to have heard him. He snuck up the hallway and cautiously peered into the main room. Rebekah was standing at a table, facing away from him. He watched as she sorted through Klaus’s things, flipping through the paintings and drawings left behind. After a minute, she gave a shriek as she began shoving all of the drawings off of the table, obviously upset. If she thought her day was bad now, she was about to be rudely awakened.

“You should know better than to sneak up on a lady.”

Welp there went his element of surprise. Guess he got to look her in the eyes as he staked her.

“Good advice. Have you seen one?” He smirked, hoping to mask the rage threatening break through. Just looking at her, knowing what she did, made him see red. It was all her fault. Her and Matt’s. Since he couldn’t kill Donovan right now, the Original sister just moved her way up to the top of his hit list.

“Tragic about Elena. Not to make a grey cloud greyer but does Matt even have automobile insurance?” She cocked her head in faux concern then turned around to continue her attention on the papers in front of her.

That bitch is dead. He didn’t wait but a second before he jumped towards her with a growl, white oak stake outstretched. He was within inches of his target before she grabbed his hand and his throat.

“I am 900 years older than you, Damon. I could prick you like a pincushion.” Rebekah taunted.

Grunting in frustration, he tried to keep hold of the stake but she was too strong. It fell to the ground with a clatter. He stumbled backwards as he waited for her to retaliate but as she moved towards him, her eyes went wide. As she paused, he heard gunfire and saw the bullets appear in Rebekah’s stomach as they came from behind her. He wasn’t going to stay and find out what was happening. He quickly picked up the stake and got the hell outta there.

* * *

“Elena! Stefan! You here?” Damon called as he raced into the Gilbert house. He stopped as he looked into the living room, noticing that the lamp and other pieces of small furniture were scattered on the floor. _Damn it. Signs of a struggle_. He ran through the house, yelling their names, knowing he would get no response. He never should have left, he thought to himself as he growled in frustration. Last year, he told Elena that he would never leave her again. It didn’t take him long to break that promise apparently. He pulled out his cell phone. “Liz? I’m at Elena’s, you need to get over here. I was just with Rebekah and something took her down. Wooden bullets. We got trouble.” As soon as he hung up the phone, someone knocked at the front door. He swung it open to find Meredith Fell.

“Sorry, no girl scout cookies today.” Damon snipped, trying to close the door.

Meredith stuck her foot out to keep the door from shutting. “Very funny, Damon. I’m just here to check on Elena. Make sure she’s okay.”

“She’s just peachy. Bye now.” He tried to shut the door again, but she glared at him as she refused to move her foot.

“I get that you’re pissed Damon, but you need to cool it. Elena doesn’t need you mad, she needs you there for her. Supporting her.”

“Well it’s hard for me to support her when I don’t know where she is.” Damon retorted.

“What do you mean you don’t know where she is?” Meredith questioned, pushing her way inside the house.

Damon began walking back to the living room, resigned to the presence of his unwelcome house guest. “I mean…”, He started picking up the lamps and books that had been scattered across the floor. “She and Stefan weren’t here when I got back and the living room had signs of a struggle.”

Sherriff Forbes burst in through the front door. “They’re gone.” Damon told her. “Whoever nailed Rebecca, took them too. Please tell me you have something. Anything.”

“I can’t. The council locked Carol and me out of our offices. Files, computers, everything.” She explained, obviously frustrated.

“So the Mayor and the Sherriff never contemplated a back-up plan, Liz?” Damon challenged, closing the gap between them. Deep down he almost felt bad for challenging her, but she wasn’t exactly being helpful right now.

“Damon, relax.” Came Meridth’s voice from behind. _Fuck. Kinda forgot she was here._ “When Caroline called to say she got away, did she say where they were planning to take her?” _About time she did or said something helpful today_ Damon thought.

“No, just that she was in some van in the middle of nowhere and she managed to escape.” Liz replied.

“Great, we’ve narrowed it down to nowhere.” Damon turned to finish putting the living room back together while he tried to formulate a plan. As he was leaning down to pick up a broken picture frame he heard a knock from behind him.

“Hey… is Elena here?” _Donovan._ Damon thought as he straightened. _Perfect_ he was just thinking he needed to let off some steam.

He vamped over to Matt and grabbed him by the throat, lifting him off the ground and bracing him against the wall. “In what world are YOU the one that gets to live?” He challenged, squeezing his hands a little more, relishing in the way Matt’s eyes were beginning to pop. He wondered if you could actually pop someone’s eyes out just from choking them. He’d never tried it before, but Matt seemed like a good test subject.

“Damon, stop!” Meredith pleaded, trying to force Damon’s arms down. “It wasn’t his fault!”

“Let him go Damon. Now!” Liz instructed, using her sheriff don’t-fuck-with-me voice.

Matt was lucky Damon had more pressing matters to attend to right now. He held on for a few extra seconds, enjoying the flush of blue that was now creeping up Donovan’s face. Finally, he released him and took a step back. Still holding his gaze, daring Matt to give him a reason to finish what he started.

“Damon” said Liz, still using her Sheriff voice. “We need a plan. Even if we do find them, they took down an original, we can’t just go in unprepared.” Damon began to pace, trying to work out a plan and keep himself from repining Matt to the wall like a garage sale flyer. “With your vervain and Alaric’s weapon’s, they could be anywhere!.”

“Come on guys, think. Takes a lot to hold a vampire. Reinforced steel, iron doors.”

“The pastor has a cattle ranch.” Damon stopped his pacing and turned to Matt. Daring him to continue. Matt took a deep breath and continued, “those pens could easily be modified.”

Damon looked at Liz and Meredith, trying to read their reaction to Donovan’s attempt at helpfulness. Meredith shrugged “It’s remote. It’s secluded.”

 _Good enough for me_ Damon thought as he looked at Matt, a plan formulating in his mind. “Well guess what? Looks like you get a chance to prove how sorry you really are. Let’s go.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 1
> 
> Damon's sculpting his hero hair. Matt's bait. Elena's pissed. Stefan was not helpful in the slightest.

He should have shoved him in the trunk, Damon thought as Matt led him down another wrong road.

“Shoot I think we were supposed to take a right back there, not a left.” Matt stuttered, turning back in his seat to check the surroundings. He turned again to face the road, letting out a shaky breath as he pretended to be at ease next to the man who had tried to kill him not 2 hours earlier.

“I let you live because I thought you were going to _help_ me save Elena, not get me lost for 2 hours while Stefan and Elena are god knows where. If we don’t find this farm soon, I’m going to get very… unpleasant” Damon warned turning to look at Matt, letting the veins pulse around his eyes for just a moment.

“This is you being pleasant?” Matt muttered, apparently forgetting about vampire hearing.

In a flash, Damon reached across the console and grabbed Matt by the throat. “Elena is dead and you are not. I would be _very_ nice to me right now. The sheriff and the doc aren’t here to save you again.” Damon gave one last squeeze as he released him and returned his attention to the dirt road in front of him.

Matt quietly fought to catch his breath as he shrunk back into his seat. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been out to the farm since I was a freshman. The pastor led some day-camp thing that Elena and I were counselor’s at.”

“How very Kumbaya of you.”

“Okay, take the next right and it should be at the bottom of the hill.”

They drove in silence for the last few miles as they pulled up to an old farmhouse. The porch was lit up by a single light bulb and Damon could hear someone or maybe a few someones moving inside the house. He thought he could hear people farther away as well, maybe in the barn behind the house.

They got out of the car and walked towards the porch. “So what, we’re just going to storm the place with zero weapons?” Matt asked skeptically.

Damon turned and gave him a devilish smile. “Nah, we don’t need weapons.” He turned back to the house. “Just bait.” He jumped Matt and took a bite out of his neck, letting the blood soak into Matt’s t-shirt and cover his own face. He wanted his entrance to be dramatic.

Matt fell to his knees with a loud groan, trying to staunch the bleeding with his hands. _Good, the louder the better_ Damon thought, smiling and awaiting the pastor. After few seconds, Damon realized the pastor turned vampire slayer might need a little more persuasion.

“Yoo hoo!” he called out. “Anybody home? Big bad vampire out here!” Finally the farmhouse door opened and a tall middle aged man peered out. His eyes widened as he took in Damon’s bloody appearance and Donovan curled up on the ground, still bleeding out.

“Let him go, the boy’s innocent.” the pastor pleaded.

“Well that’s the point!” Damon replied. “Give me Stefan and Elena, and the boy’s all yours.”

The pastor flicked his eyes from Damon to the boy, considering his options. _Obviously this guy was going to need more persuasion._

“Come on Pastor!” Damon called, hauling Matt upright by his collar. “You know I’ll kill him.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I wanna kill him.”

“Go away! You are not invited in, and I’m not coming out!” the pastor grabbed something from behind the door and the next thing Damon knew, he had been shot and everything was fading to black.

______________________________________________________________________________

He felt someone push against his shoulder, once, twice. He heard the sound of heavy boots walking around him, so there must be at least two of them. He heard the sound of weapons being loaded with amo, safety being turned off and on again, as if a nervous habit. _Good_ he thought _They’re newbies_. He didn’t wait long before he jumped up and killed them both, even using one of their guns as a stake of sorts, he was almost proud of himself for that one.

As they fell to the ground, he heard coughing and gurgling coming from behind him. _Matt…_ he thought. _This kid just won’t die._ He walked towards him, ready to finish the job. He landed a swift kick to his sternum, causing Matt to roll a few feet away from him.

“Go ahead. Kill me.” Matt choked out. “You can’t possibly hate me more than I hate myself.”

Matt must severely underestimate a vampire’s ability to hate someone. There was no way Matt was feeling anywhere close to the loathing that had been overtaking Damon since the moment he found out about Elena. “Oh yes I can.” Damon picked up his foot and placed it on Matt’s throat. “It shoulda been you.” He watched as Matt struggled under the pressure of his boot, the increase in pressure causing the blood to pour out of his neck wound. This wasn’t going to take long.

All of a sudden, he was pushed to the ground, his situation reversed, now finding himself with someone putting pressure on his throat. His eyes widened as he took in his attacker, red eyes, grey veins, sharp fangs, but it was still Elena. She had transitioned.

Matt took this interruption as a chance to make his escape. He scrambled to his feet as he took off towards the back of the house. Damon grunted in frustration at his thwarted revenge attempt, as he got to his feet. He couldn’t deal with Elena right now. He turned and began to make his way back to the car. Of course, she followed right behind him.

“You were going to kill him!”

“Yup. The guy just won’t die.”

“It was my choice to save him. Why aren’t you seeing that?”

Of course. It always comes back to Elena’s choice. “It’s hard to keep track of all of your choices lately, Elena..”

She paused as she looked at him. Her eyes softened, almost as if in pity. It was obvious she knew he wasn’t just talking about her choice to save Matt. _Forget this_ he didn’t need her pity. He turned to around to the driver’s door of his car.

“I remember everything.” She stated.

 _Shit._ It had been such an intense day he had forgotten about that fun little side effect of her recent transition. He stopped walking, waiting to see where she would go with this.

“One of the highlights of my transition.” Damon turned and slowly made his way back to the front of the car. “I remember everything that you compelled me to forget. Like how you and I met first.” She continued, almost asking it like a question. Although Damon was standing in front of her, he couldn’t make himself look her in the eyes. He wasn’t sure what he would find there pity? Sadness? He wasn’t sure what he even wanted to see there.

“You were a stranger that told me you wanted me to get everything I wanted from life. Damon, why didn’t you tell me?” She implored.

He flashed back to their phone call from the night before. When his world crashed down around him. She had said ‘Maybe if you and I had met first.’ He had actually laughed to himself, just another cosmic joke from the universe. She didn’t mean that. She was just trying to placate him and make him feel better, because that’s who she is.

“Would it have made a difference?” He challenged, finally looking into her eyes. He jutted out his jaw and waited to see if she’d respond. She just stared at him, like she was frozen. She knew she was caught out. “Didn’t think so.” He turned away from her, not quite willing to leave her, but not willing to look her in the eyes as she rejected him again.

“You asked me to make a choice, Damon, so I did. If you’re going to be mad, then take it out on me. Not on Stefan, Matt, or anyone else…. Me.”

He sighed and gave a slight shake of his head. She didn’t get it. He wasn’t mad about her choice. He was mad that she died. That all of these people in her life supposedly loved her SO much and yet they _still_ let her die. He wasn’t mad that she chose Stefan. He was heartbroken, gutted, and ruined by her choice, but he wasn’t mad, not at her. But, he couldn’t tell her any of that. He didn’t really want to put that on her and he wasn’t sure he would be able to get the words out even if he wanted to. So he just kept staring at the windshield in front of him. “Are we done here?”

“If it had been you at the bridge last night, and not Stefan” He turned to look at her. Was she really asking him this? As if she didn’t already know his answer? “and I had begged you to save Matt..”

“I would have saved you! In a heartbeat, no question.” He knew Elena was only asking so that she could confirm what she already knew.

“That’s what I thought, and Matt would be dead because you couldn’t let go. Matt would be dead!” she shouted, as if this was supposed to change his mind and make it all okay that she was dead now.

“But you wouldn’t be! And you would have gotten to grow up and have the life you wanted, the life that you deserved. And I know I didn’t used to get that but I do now and I wanted that for _you_ Elena. And I would have gladly given that to you and let Matt _die_ because, I am that selfish.” He knew that was what she was really trying to get him to admit. “But you knew that already… the first night we met is not all that you remember.” He let his eyes drift down to her lips and then to the base of her neck, where her necklace used to lay. Apparently, his confession was enough for her because she just stood and stared at him in silence. Her doe eyes blinking up at him, unknown emotions flickering through them. He had to get out of here. He gave her one final glance and then got in his car and drove away, leaving her standing in the glow of the porchlight.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 2
> 
> Damon and Stefan are fighting. Elena's hungry. Getting a little spicy in the bathroom of the Grille.

“So what’s our plan, hero man?” Damon asked as he sauntered into Stefan’s bedroom.

“WE don’t have a plan. MY plan is to help her, take her to the woods, teach her to hunt like I do.”

Damon narrowed his eyes and smirked in disapproval as he sat down in the desk chair. “You’re making a big mistake.”

Stefan continued packing a bag of clothes and supplies, “No I’m not. If I can get Elena used to animal blood right outta the gate…”

“You’re reaching.”

“Maybe she’ll be able to bypass all of the things that we went through…”

“Delusional…”

Stefan continued, ignoring his brother’s interruptions, “Maybe she’ll actually have a shot at this.”

“You’re wrong. Just wrong Stefan.” Damon replied in a sing songy voice. The sooner he could get his brother off this highway of delusion, the better.

“She won’t be able to handle it if she hurts someone, Damon. Her compassion is her achilles heel and everything is magnified right now.”

Damon shook his head in disbelief at his brother’s stupidity. “Well you better hope she’s not a fan of Bambi.”

Stefan paused his packing to look up at Damon. “It’s not the same thing as hunting people, Damon, you know its not!”

Damon stabbed the letter opener he was twirling into Stefan’s wooden desk. _Why was Stefan being like this?_ “She needs human blood, Stefan. From the vein.”

“No Damon. You know what’s going to happen. You name me one vampire who didn’t kill at least one person when they were new.” Stefan challenged.

 _Really? Was Stefan that determined to make her like him?_ Damon stood up, challenging him right back. “Name me one who hasn’t gone on the bunny diet and killed dozens?” He knew it was a low blow, but he needed Stefan to see some sense.

To Stefan’s credit, he didn’t flinch at Damon’s retort. “If she kills someone, she will crumble. How much pain do you think she can take before she shuts off her humanity switch?”

Damon shook his head in frustration. _Why was Stefan thinking so short term. So what? She shuts it off, goes all murder rampagy and then, give or take a few decades, it all goes back to normal._ “It happens to the best of us at least once. We get over it Stefan! Give or take 100 years or so..”

“Hell I think I’d like her to skip that part.”

He was beginning to put together why Stefan was being so stubborn about this. It was Stefan’s fault Elena got turned, therefore, everyone who Elena kills as a vampire falls into Stefan’s imaginary vampire guilt baggage. He already had all of Damon’s indiscretions in there, he probably didn’t want to add anymore. _And people call him the selfish brother._ He reached into the bag Stefan was packing and began to undo his brother’s progress. “She can’t learn to control the bloodlust if she never experiences the bloodlust.”

“What are you doing? Knock it off.”

Damon continued to unpack the bag. “It’s a cheat, like giving a kid a calculator before they know math…” Stefan reached out and grabbed Damon’s arm to try and stop him.

“I said stop it.”

Damon flung his arm out of Stefan’s grasp. He was getting tired of Stefan’s bambi blood hippie antics. He turned and glared at his brother, daring him to make another move. They stared at each other for a few seconds, challenging the other to blink first. That is how Elena found them a few moments later.

“Woah.. what’s going on?”

Stefan blinked and plastered on a half smile. “Oh just having a little disagreement about process.”

Elena sighed knowingly. “I take it your still not on board with the animal plan.” She directed at Damon.

Damon gave her his own forced smirk. “Nope. I say rip off the proverbial bandaid and let it bleed. You’re a vampire Elena, be a vampire.”

Stefan grabbed her arm and made to lead her out of the room. He couldn’t let her go without giving it one more shot to make her see reason. “Vampires eat people. It’s part of the natural food pyramid. Trust me… you’re going to be miserable.”

He swore he saw her falter before she turned around to follow his brother. Almost as if she believed him, just for a moment. He hoped she had, because even after everything, he didn’t think he could stand to see her miserable.

God, his self-flagellation was almost rivaling his brother’s. After they left for their little hunting trip, Damon knew he should go and get to work on the hundreds of other problems they needed to fix right now, at the top of the list being this crazy pastor vampire slayer and his vampire cattle ranch. But, he couldn’t make himself leave. He wanted to wait and see how the hunting trip went. He knew it would break Elena’s heart at first, but he really wanted the whole animal blood idea to fail. Maybe if it did, Stefan would give up this crazy idea that Elena could somehow still hold on to the person she used to be before she turned.

He sat down on the sofa as he took a swig of the drink he had just poured. Elena was different now. He could tell. She was still the same caring, compassionate, and big hearted person she used to be, but there was something different. When she jumped him for attacking Matt the other night, he could see it. A fire in her eyes. Human Elena was timid, unsure of herself, even a martyr at times. Vampire Elena was full of fire and passion. She would fight for what she wanted, no matter what. Stefan didn’t get that. He thinks if he can keep Elena as close to human as possible then they both won’t have to admit she’s changing.

He gave a little scoff as he knocked back the rest of his drink. He rose up from the couch to pour himself another when he heard the front door open. He almost called out to them when he heard Elena whisper “Stefan… stop that tickles!” He could hear giggling and panting as they stumbled their way through the entry way. He froze. Of course… Elena’s senses are all heightened now, why wouldn’t they be banging in the entry way of the house?

Well he may be on a self flaggelation kick but even he had his limits, and listening to the love of his life bang his brother? Not on his list of things he wanted to experience today. He set his tumbler down and vamped out through the door in the kitchen. He was sure they didn’t even notice he was there.

* * *

He found himself at the front door of the grill again. He took a calming breath, steeling himself, and walked inside. This was better than whatever he was going to be privy to back at the boarding house. He forced himself to look over at the bar. Thankfully, there was only one older gentleman sitting there and he was at the very end. Damon wasn’t sure what he would have done if someone was sitting in Ric’s spot.

Damon walked over to the bar, his usual spot, and sat down. “Bourbon, neat.” He paused for a moment and then added, “Make that two.” The bartender tilted his head a bit in confusion, obviously unsure of the 2nddrinks recipient, but turned to fill the order anyway.

Damon nodded his thanks as the bartender slid both drinks over to him. Damon looked at the empty seat next to him and slid the second bourbon over to the spot in front of it. “For you buddy.” He whispered, raising his class in a slight toast to the empty chair.

He heard the familiar plod of Liz Forbe’s work boots come up behind him, next to the empty seat. “Seats taken” he muttured.

To her credit, she didn’t sit down, but she still didn’t move as she threw a paper down in front of him. He picked up the paper and picked out the headline he assumed she was in a tizzy about. “Faulty Gasline leads to explosion at Young Farm. Really?” The headlines this town comes up with. Well at least he didn’t have to worry about Buffy the pastor vampire slayer.

Liz tried to accuse him of being the one to kill the council. He was not in the mood for this. It was a good thing she was his friend or she’d probably be dead behind a dumpster by know, especially with how his day had been going today. As she was just rearing up for another one of her lectures, a tall black man who was giving off some serious Indiana Jones vibes approached them claiming to be an independent contractor investigating the explosion. He whisked the sheriff off to speak in private.

“Nice to meet you too Mr. Busy Body guy.” Damon took another drink of his Bourbon and turned back to the bar. It was better this way, he felt like drinking alone anyways. Actually, he felt like sinking his teeth into that pretty blond hostess by the door, but he figured he’d wait until her shift was done, maybe take her home afterwords. Afterall, who did he have to impress. Before he dove headfirst back into his immorality, he did his good deed of the day and called Stefan to let him know about the Young Farm. He figured if Stefan wanted to play hero so badly he’d let him deal with it.

He could smell her before he could see her. She always smelt warm, like vanilla or coconut or something like that. He wasn’t sure if it was shampoo, body wash, or just her but he was secretly glad it hadn’t changed after her transition.

Elena walked up behind him, leaning on the empty chair next to him. “That seats taken.” He snipped.

She looked at him confused, “There’s no one here.”

“Well I’m just gonna pretend there is because the alternative is too damn depressing.” He gave her a half smirk. She looked at him with a mixture of guilt and pity as she moved to the other side of him.

“Did you set off the explosion that killed the town council?”

“Am I wearing my ‘I blew up the council’ t-shirt? Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Did you?” She asked, obviously still unsure.

“Noo, anything else?” He wondered if she hadn’t come for another reason. Seemed unlikely that she had just sought him out to ask him something he had already assured his brother and the sheriff that he had no part in.

She hesitated, looking around the bar as if to check her surroundings.

“Yes, something’s wrong. I can’t keep any of the animal blood down.” Elena whispered, stumbling on the second to last word as if it were an expletive.

“Well there’s a shock” Damon rolled his eyes and took another sip of his bourbon. A little surprised she was revealing this to him.

“I think I need your help”

“Of course you do.” Damon sighed. This was just not his day. “Pick your meal.” He pointed at various tables around the grill. “You’ve got your Asian-Fusion, Mexican, or how about some good ole American comfort food.” He gestured at a particularly robust tourist family of four sitting at a corner booth.

“No… no human blood. Stefan’s right. I have to at least TRY to get through this without hurting anyone.” Elena looked down, compulsively fiddling with her daylight ring, unused to its now permanent place on her finger. She looked so pitiful. Her skin pale, probably from the lack of bunny blood in her system. After a moment, she glanced up at him through her thick eyelashes, deep brown eyes meeting his own blue ones.

An idea popped into his head. Before he could talk himself out of it, Damon drained the rest of his drink in one gulp and set it down on the bar. “Fine, come with me.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the bathrooms at the back of the restaurant. They were going to need a more private location for the help he was about to give.

He yanked Elena into the men’s room and quickly shut and locked the door behind them. Probably best if they weren’t interrupted. He could tell she wasn’t sure what he was up to and how this was supposed to help her current predicament.

“Damon, what are we doing?”

He gave a slight huff of frustration at her pestering and quickly bit into his palm, allowing a little pool of dark red blood to appear. “Giving you what you need. Now drink.”

“What?” Her eyes went wide in surprise, obviously not expecting that reaction.

“You’re a vampire, Elena. You need warm blood, straight from the vein. Maybe this will do the trick. Or not…. But, just don’t tell Stefan.” The last thing he needed was for Stefan to find out he blood shared with their girlfriend. Oh right, Stefan’s girlfriend. She made her choice 3 days ago when she turned around and left him to die alone and go back to be with his brother. Granted, she argued that her reason for turning around was more than just Stefan, but he knew. It would always be Stefan. She had told him that, Katherine had told him that. Maybe it was time he listened and got the hell outta dodge. But he had to help Elena first, he couldn’t just leave her like this. Especially not when she was standing in front of him, looking more pitiful by the minute, and leering at the ever-growing pool of blood in his hand.

“Why not?” she asked breathlessly, the bloodlust creeping into her voice, causing it to shake with want. Eyes still fixed on his palm.

“Because… blood sharing is kinda… personal”

Sexual… that was what he was not saying. Blood sharing was sexual, more than just kinda. It was hot, heavy, and usually done between lovers in the heat of passion. He knew that if she knew this, she would never agree to it. Her bond to his brother and her own moral compass would prevent her from taking what she needed and then she really would go out and hurt someone. And Stefan was right, she would never recover from that, at least not in this century. He was the selfish one. He wanted to help Elena but he knew that wasn’t the only reason he was offering this to her, he couldn’t get the sound of Elena panting Stefan’s name out of his head. He just wanted to remind her that Stefan wasn’t the only one that could make her feel something.

“What do you mean it’s personal?” She asked, obviously confused by his wording. He could tell that her bloodlust was quickly winning out in the mental war between hesitation and hunger.

Enough of this. “Just drink.”

She stared back at his hand, panting as her mind concluded its mental war, declaring a victor, hunger. Of course, hunger won. It always will. He gave her a final nod of encouragement. Apparently, that was all she needed. She captured his hand with two of her own and gently brought it to her face, blue veins appearing as fangs descended. She opened up and bit down.

Fuck. Maybe this was a bad idea, Damon thought. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he tried to center himself and keep himself upright, for her sake. He could feel his knees weakening as the sensations began to course through his body, starting faint but quickly growing in intensity. He had only ever done this a hand full of times and it hadn’t felt near as powerful as this. With his eyes closed, he could hear Elena continuing to drink, hushed gasps and moans slipping out as her body gave in to what she wanted.

Every pull of blood Elena took from him set off a wave of sensations that traveled up the length of his arm to the rest of his body. The sensations increased in strength, evolving from a pleasing hum to rolling waves of pleasure. It was as if someone was plucking a guitar string, and every time the string was plucked, the vibrations shivered through his body leaving goosebumps and a tingling sensation, as if someone was chasing the feeling with the tips of their fingers. As Elena continued to drink, the plucking of the string became more and more frequent. He gave an involuntary shiver as he stumbled backwards, suddenly incredibly grateful for the ceramic tiled wall behind him. He pulled Elena into him so he could better support her as she continued to feed. He ran his fingers down her hair, comforting her or him, he wasn’t sure. He gave a little gasp as the frequency and strengths of the vibrations continued to increase. His whole body was buzzing, every nerve alive. Now that he was against the wall, Elena pushed her body closer to his, no doubt subconsciously trying to get closer to her food source. But all it did was give his body the friction it had been desiring since this began.

He wasn’t even sure she knew it was happening, but suddenly her moans were followed by the slight gyration of her hips, pressing against his erection and causing him to bite his lip to keep from making gasps and moans of his own. He leaned his head back onto the cool tile and tried to take a deep breath to calm himself, when Elena pushed into him and gave a particularly well placed thrust. His eyes flew open as a groan slipped out. His body, seemingly oblivious to his attempts to calm himself, began chasing that sensation, slowly thrusting into the side of Elena’s hip, careful to keep his movements slow and subtle, praying that she was too caught up in her own bloodlust to notice him starting to dry hump her leg like a teenager. He knew he should stop but he and Elena had been walking this sexual tension tightrope for so long that he just couldn’t deny himself anymore, especially when her body was doing the leading.

She detached from his hand, panting, blood dripping down the sides of her mouth. Oh how he would like to chase those drops with his tongue, follow them down her chin, neck, between her breasts, lapping up every drop until she was clean and writhing underneath him. She turned her face to his, his blue eyes meeting her red-tinged ones. She used her tongue to trace along the outsides of her lips, a futile attempt at cleaning up any blood that had escaped. His eyes following her tongue as it darted from one side of her mouth to the other. She brought his hand back to her mouth, pausing before she bit into his fleshy palm again, as if waiting for his permission to continue. He gave a little nod and she bit in, moaning as the first splash of blood entered her mouth.

She turned her body so they were back to front. Damon was both disappointed and pleased by this new position. He was disappointed that he couldn’t watch as her face lite up with the obvious bliss she was feeling. But he was pleased because this new position meant that she couldn’t see the pleasure on his face that he was unsuccessfully trying to mask. After a few moments, he realized there was another positive to this new arrangement. Her ass was now pressed flush against his crotch. As she moved her body up and down, obviously enjoying the feeling of relief at quelching her hunger, he was also enjoying his own feeling of relief. His hips continued to betray him, giving little thrusts into her jean clad ass, mentally relieved that Elena didn’t choose that day to wear one of her short little skirts. It would be too easy for his fingers to trace down the sides of her waist until dropping to finger the hem of her suggestively short skirt. Too easy for him to pinch the hem between his fingers and raise it up over ass, giving him a peek at the panties she was wearing underneath. Probably white and lacey, or maybe those red lacey ones he had found in her drawer when he was telling her about Stefan and Chicago. White or red he didn’t know, but definitely lacy.

He knew this dangerous what-if game he was playing in his head was treacherous, but with Elena continuing her subconscious bloodlust induced dance of pleasure pressed against him, he figured he was already playing with matches, might as well light himself up.

The skirt would be bunched up in his hand, pressed into the small of her back so that it wouldn’t fall. Her panties would be lacy, barely covering her smooth, olive skinned ass. He would watch as Elena pressed her ass back into his cock, slowly working it in small circles up and down the length of him.

His head hit the yellow tiles behind him as he let out deep groan, picturing the what-if scenario in his head. The groan must have been louder than he intended because he felt Elena still. She pulled her mouth away from his hand and coughed and shook her head as the bloodlust obviously began to clear. He froze, not sure how much she was aware of their current position, his current situation, or what they had been doing. She gave a little squeak as she suddenly pushed herself away from him, turning to face him, as she wiped the remaining blood off with the back of her hand.

Damon gave a little cough as he straightened out his shirt and, hopefully, subtly adjusted himself. Her eyes had returned to their usual deep brown and they were looking at him, as if pleading with him to not draw attention to what just happened. Usually, he took great joy in making Elena uncomfortable with his quips and questions, but she was looking at him with such hesitation and vulnerability in her eyes that he decided to abide by her wish. “So how do you feel?”

Her eyes widened as her cheeks flushed, maybe scared that he had ignored her plea and was searching out her feelings about what had just happened.

“I mean, the blood. How do you feel? Going to toss your cookies on my boots?”

“Oh…” she gave a little sigh as the blush began to drain from her cheeks. “Yeah I feel good. I mean, I felt okay after the animal blood too so I guess all I can do is just wait and see. Thank you, Damon. I mean it.” She moved towards him, her hand reaching for his face.

“Good. Happy to help.” Damon abruptly slid past her, avoiding her touch, as he yanked the bathroom door open and strode down the hallway. Leaving a shocked Elena staring at the now unobstructed yellow tile on the wall.

He knew he should wait with her, stay until she was sure the blood would stay down. But he couldn’t make himself stay. It might have been nothing but pleasure at the time, watching Elena writhe around in front of him, because of him, but it was just a fantasy. It was a taste of what he could never have. Any chance he had of that kind of pleasure was destroyed the minute she chose to turn around and go back to his brother. He was too selfish to stay and be reminded of all he had lost. He, unlike his brother, refused to continue to be a martyr for love.

Elena was going to be okay. She would learn to feed. She had Stefan. Stefan had Elena. No one needed him anymore. It was time to make his own plans. He was going to leave Mystic falls, and Elena, behind for good.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still Season 4 Episode 2
> 
> Elena's still hungry. Crocodile Dundee's trying to kill all the vamps. Stefan's pissed.
> 
> Also, enjoy a bit of a flashback to a certain moment in Denver ;)

Thankfully, Stefan was out when he got back to the boarding house. _Good, no need for our epic goodbye_. Damon had left Stefan before and he got over it, he was sure he would again. Damon made his way up to his room to get a bag or two together. As he wandered around his room, he had trouble finding enough items he wanted to take with him. Everything was filled with memories that he’d rather forget. Laying half dead from werewolf venom on his 4 poster bed, Elena soothing him, listening to him spout off his feelings to her. Her staying, comforting him, even kissing him. He shook his head trying to clear away the memory. It was probably better if he didn’t think about her right now. There was a reason he didn’t tell her he was leaving. She was probably the only person who could talk him out of it. _Speaking of…_

“Vampire blood junkie anonymous, personal juice box speaking.” Damon answered his phone with a smirk.

“Damon… I need help.” Elena whimpered, her voice cracking through the phone.

His heartbeat immediately quickened. “Elena, tell me what’s wrong? Why do you need help? Where are you?”

“I… I… it’s everywhere Damon! I don’t know what to do!” she sobbed.

Her cries did little to stem his panic. “Elena, please you gotta tell me what’s happening! What’s everywhere? Tell me where you are!” He ran one hand through his hair, causing it to stick up even more than usual as he paced around the room.

“Blood, the blood, it’s everywhere!”

“Blood? Whose blood? Are you okay?” All he could hear was her choppy breathing on the other end of the phone. He needed her to calm down if he was going to be able to find and help her. “Elena, honey, you gotta listen to me. Take a deep breath. In…. Out… good job. Now tell me, where are you?”

“I’m at the church, helping set up for the funeral for the council members. I was talking to Matt and then… and then I didn’t feel good and so I went downstairs to the bathroom and I couldn’t help myself. All the blood came back up. It’s everywhere Damon, on my dress the floor, even the sink!”

By the end of her explanation, she was crying again, obviously panicking. _I guess leaving is going to have to wait a few hours_ he thought. “Shhhh Elena, it’s going to be okay,” he soothed. “I’m going to help you. Do you trust me?” He assumed she nodded at first because the line was silent but after a few moments he heard her mutter “Yes, I trust you.”

“Okay, here’s what you’re going to do. You are going to lock the bathroom door. Don’t let anyone in but me. No one. Then, clean up the room the best you can. I’m going to go to your house and grab you a change of clothes. And Elena?”

“Yeah?” she whimpered

“You are going to be fine. I’m bringing you a blood bag. I know you said no human blood but we’re running out of options here. I gotta go. I’ll call you when I’m close.” He hung up the phone and looked up at the ceiling, closing his eyes. He didn’t want her to know but her inability to keep blood down was really starting to worry him. _Yes, animal blood was disgusting, and vampire blood wasn’t really very filling, but she shouldn’t be throwing it up._ _Maybe it had something to do with her doppelgänger blood._ But, he didn’t have time to theorize right now, he had to go help Elena.

* * *

“I’m here, I’m here. Where are you?”

“I’m still in the basement bathro—” She paused. “Is that you at the door?”

Crap. “No, not yet!”

“Sorry, there’s someone in here!” He heard her yell, presumably towards the locked bathroom door. “Damon, please hurry!” He could tell she was beginning to panic again and so he picked up the pace. As he walked down the basement steps he noticed Indiana Jones from the bar was sitting on the couch outside of the bathroom. _Probably the knocker from earlier. Well that’s not suspicious._

“Ah you again. Stalking small town funerals?” He glibbed, knocking on the bathroom door to alert Elena to his arrival. She opened the door, eyes huge and filled with fear. She apologized to Mr. Indiana Jones and went to close the door to change. He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

While Elena changed and probably finished cleaning up the bathroom, he was forced to make small talk with Indiana Vampire Hunter Jones. Stefan had called him on his way home from the grille to warn him about a possible new vampire hunter in town. Damon would bet his leather jacket that those fingerless gloves were soaked in Vervain. After what seemed like hours, but was actually just few minutes, Elena opened the door, crisis temporarily averted. At a quick glance, she looked okay, just extremely pale. Elena gave Mystery Hunter a small smile and a quick apology and then led Damon out the side door of the church.

As soon as Elena pushed open the wooden side door of the church, she moved quickly towards the large tree located on the side of the church. Damon couldn’t help but notice, even the brisk walk out of the building seemed to make her short of breath. _Well that’s concerning._

“Did you bring the blood bags?” she asked, not even pausing to ensure that Damon was still behind her.Damon grimaced at the level of her voice. She obviously was too hungry to be concerned with things like volume control and possible vampire hunters who just happen to dress like they got yanked out of Crocodile Dundee.

“You wanna say that a little louder?” Damon sarcastically chastised. He followed as Elena led him behind a large oak tree around the side of the church. Their position allowed her to be in view of the large white doors of the church, no doubt to ensure she didn’t miss the start of the funeral, but their location was secluded enough that no one could see what they were doing, unless they knew what to look for.

As she stood with her back against the tree, Damon reached into the tan canvas bag he had grabbed from Elena’s room. Previously, it had held a History book, some notebooks, a few loose pens, and maybe a lip gloss or two. All of those items were now scattered on Elena’s bedroom floor to make room for her funeral replacement clothes and the blood bag he was now retrieving.

“Here you go.” He allowed his eyes to sweep the perimeter around them to ensure there weren’t any gawking funeral goers as he handed the bag to Elena. She was so hungry that potential onlookers wouldn’t deter her and she immediately grabbed the blood bag, ripped off the top and began to take gasping gulps. _It’s working._ He breathed an internal sigh of relief, continuing to keep watch around them. He placed his hand on the trunk of the tree to the side of Elena’s head, leaning his body forward to help block her actions from the front of the church. A few seconds later, Elena made a choking sound. He turned just as the blood was forcing itself back up her throat. It splashed on the ground in front of her and spilled out of her mouth, making its way down her chin.

“Elena…” he murmured in confusion, attempting to help her keep the blood contained and off of her freshly changed funeral dress. Damon was growing increasingly worried. Vampire transitions are difficult enough as it is, but it was all about control. He had never seen this before, a vampire that couldn’t keep down blood? Well that was just a dead dead vampire. He looked up at Elena, eyebrows pinched, as the worry he had been attempting to mask broke through.

“Damon, I can’t… I can’t it tastes like..” her voice was cracking in panic. She obviously had no idea what was happening to her and it terrified her. He frantically searched her face for any clues as to why this was happening. He wanted to assure her, tell her it was all going to be okay. But honestly, he didn’t know that it was. He settled for gently wiping the blood droplets off of her chin, hoping his touch would help calm her.

“What’s wrong with me?” she pleaded. Looking to him for answers he couldn’t give. Her eyes large and glassy, filling with tears.

“I don’t know..” he admitted. “Maybe it’s your doppleganger blood… you’re rejecting the transition.” he speculated, using both of his hands to cup her face, cataloging it for injuries and then tracing down her cheeks in a comforting attempt.

“I’m dying aren’t I?” she stated, attempting to frame it more as a question than a conclusion.

“No, you’re not dying! You just need to drink from the vein.”

“No, no!” she shook her head vigorously. “I can’t risk killing anyone!” pausing for a moment, she added, “Maybe I’m better off dead…”

He grabbed her shoulders and shook them, “No! Don’t you think like that.” She needed to understand how that was NOT an option. Even if he had to tie her down and force a vein into her mouth. He would not, could not let her die. “Elena…you’re going to be fine.” Damon hoped he was convincing her, because he was doing a pretty shit job of convincing himself. He reached out his hand and cupped the back of her neck, letting his fingers wind into her hair. She stared at him, probably trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not. As they stared at one another, Damon let himself really take in her appearance. Her skin was ghostly pale, almost translucent in places, especially around her eyes. If he examined closely, he could see bluish grey veins attempting to peak through the surface. She had dark bluish green circles under her eyes, as if she hadn’t slept in weeks. Her cheek bones were more prominent, probably due to the slightly sunken nature of her cheeks. Damon glanced down at her lips. Probably his favorite part of her. Kissable lips. Naturally pink, a sweet hearts bow on the top and a plump bottom lip that often found itself protruding out in a pout or pulled in partially by her teeth, a nervous habit or a sign that she was thinking about kissing you. He hadn’t realized that last detail until Denver.

He remembered pouring himself a shot of shitty hotel bourbon into a dinky plastic cup. He was sitting by the window, partially keeping watch, and also, honestly not sure where he was supposed to sleep. Jeremy had moved to the center of his bed, so Damon would have to wake him up to make him scoot over. However, Elena had seemed to purposefully stay to one side of the mattress, leaving the other side completely available. Unable to make a decision, he held his guard post near the window, nursing his plastic cup of cheap bourbon. After a few minutes, he felt eyes on him. Elena was looking at him, no… studying him. At first, she tried to play timid and quickly shut her eyes again and feigned sleep. Either figuring she was caught out, or not caring, she gave up and returned back to her contemplating stare. It was as if she was looking for something.

He polished off his cup of bourbon and slowly made his way over to her, as if trying not to startle a wounded animal. He gently climbed into bed next to her, allowing his arm to curl up under his head as he held her gaze. He remembered that she had asked him about giving the dream to Rose. And about why he wouldn’t keep doing good deeds and just be a good person. After he explained himself, he remembered that her breathing quickened and he watched as she pulled a portion of her bottom lip into her mouth with her teeth. She continued to bite her lip even as she turned away from him and studied the ceiling. He could tell she was at war with herself over what to do. She wanted to kiss him. That was the first time he knew that if Elena Gilbert bit her bottom lip, she wanted to kiss you.

Church bells pulled him out of his memories, reminding him that he still had a very sickly Elena standing in front of him. She glanced towards the front doors of the church. “I have to get back inside.” He didn’t agree that this was a good idea, but unable to think of a way to convince her, he gave her a quick nod, running his hand down her arm. She left him standing by the base of the tree, canvas bag and partially emptied blood bag by his feet. He reached down and shoved the traitorous blood bag into the canvas bag. Turning around to head into the church, he caught a glimpse of someone watching him. _Perfect. Just the person I wanted to see_ Damon thought sarcastically.

“Oh great…” Damon continued to head towards the church, maybe his luck would turn and his brother would leave him the fuck alone. _No such luck._

“What’s in the bag, Damon?”

“Mid service snack, church always gets me hungry. You know, the whole blood of Christ thing?” He paused a few seconds, hoping Stefan would just leave it at that. Stefan continued to stare him down, refusing to let him beg off the answer to his question. “I brought it for Elena.”

“You really that intent on having your way?”

Damon was surprised at Stefan’s response. Did Elena really not tell him anything about her feeding problems? He was filled with both shock at her omittance and pride in being the one she did confide in. Well it was becoming too serious of an issue to continue to keep Stefan in the dark. He needed to know… didn’t mean Damon couldn’t rub it in a little bit.

“It’s the only way! She’s starving, Stefan! She hasn’t been able to keep blood down for days.”

“What are you talking about? She told me she was fine.”

Damon gave him a smirk. “Well then she lied. Your four legged protein shake was a bust, the juice box was a no-go. She couldn’t even keep my blood down.” He paused after that last confession. He knew Stefan would have some thoughts about that.

Stefan furrowed his brow, “She drank from you?”

Damon looked to the side in fake surprise. “Oops, I say that out loud?” He waggled his eyebrows and gave him a dimple inducing grin. He quickly turned and strode around to the back of the church. He knew this was probably not the end of this conversation, but they had bigger fish to fry at the moment than deal with Stefan’s jealousy.

He stashed the bag in his Camaro, washed the remnants of the blood bag from his hands, and then walked into the sanctuary of the church. He dipped his hand into the holy water, forming a cross in front of him. “Don’t know why that always makes me smile.” He muttered to himself. He was walking down the aisle towards the empty seat next to Stefan when he noticed Elena was making her way to the podium at the front of the church.She looked even worse than she had a few minutes ago. Her knees were shaking and little beads of sweat were forming on her brow. They were going to need a plan for her, and fast.

“She doesn’t look so good.” Damon remarked, sitting next to Stefan at the end of the pew.

“Maybe you should have told me she was rejecting all food sources.” Stefan replied, jealousy seeping into his voice.

“Jealousy’s beneath you, brother.”

“Oh, bite me.” Damon barely held back a grin. Sometimes, it didn’t feel as though they had been brothers for over 160 years. Stefan still regressed to the same angry digs that he used when they were young and fighting over their toys. Well there wasn’t anything he could do to help at this moment, he could only sit back and hope Elena was still herself enough to push through her speech…. _Blood._ He smelled it at the same time as Stefan. He could see out of the corner of his eye, Stefan sit up straighter and tilt up his chin, probably trying to determine the source of the smell. He could hear Caroline and Tyler from the back of the church, whispering about the smell that was soon going to make its way up to the front of the church, where Elena was. _This is not good._

He could pinpoint the exact moment she noticed the smell. Her speech faulted and her breathing deepened. Her gaze seemed to be drawn to the concrete basin of holy water in the rear of the church. If the drips he was hearing gave any indication, he guessed the source of the blood was in the balcony of the church and it was dripping into the water. He guessed Crocodile Dundee was to blame for the literal blood in the blood of Christ. Which meant, he was setting a trap. “Nobody move. Don’t turn around. It’s a trap.” He commanded in a whisper.

Elena continued to stumble through the next few words of her speech, her breathing growing heavier with every syllable. He watched as Stefan walked up on stage and led a weak Elena back towards the pews. He hoped it looked as though she was simply overcome with emotion, and not bloodlust to the average funeral attendee. Stefan led her back to her spot in the pew next to Jeremy and Matt. He held her, held her back was probably more accurate, as she rambled on about the blood and the smell. Damon could tell she was losing in her fight against the bloodlust. Hell, she was starving. He was impressed she had held on this long. As he watched her unravel, he knew he couldn’t just stand there and watch. Stefan was attempting his namaste, mind over matter, ‘push back against the blood lust’ crap but Damon could tell it wasn’t working.

“I’m gonna go rip his head off now.” He informed his brother. Spoken just loud enough for Stefan to hear over the hymn.

“If you do that Damon, you risk exposing all of us.” Stefan argued.

“Well I think the risk will be greatly diminished when I… you know… rip his head off.”

“Stefan, I’m losing it!” Elena pleaded.

Stefan didn’t get it. His Ghandi self-control tips might work on a vampire in regular circumstances, but these weren’t regular circumstances. Elena was a new vampire, who was starving, and within 50 feet of fresh human blood. The time for hippie relaxation techniques was over. They needed a real solution or Elena was going to get herself killed. “You have 10 seconds before I go all ‘old fashioned’ on the new guy.”

“Don’t do it Damon, please!”

The 10 second count was a formality. “3, 2, 1, okay bye..” Damon turned to head towards the source of the blood when he heard Matt whisper “Elena.. it’s okay. Feed from me.”

He paused, eyes widening. Well color him surprised. A shockingly good suggestion from an otherwise waste of space. He watched as Stefan gave Elena a nod and guided her over to Matt who grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into what looked like an embrace. Her hands reached out to his collar, and he watched as Elena began to feed from Matt’s neck. He sent up a quick prayer that the blood would stay down. He figured he was in a church, might as well exhaust all possible options. After a few moments, she pulled back and straightened his collar. He could see that some of the color was returning to her face. He breathed a sigh of relief at her success.

After Elena staved off her starvation for the time being, she realized where the blood must be coming from and from who. Before she could play the hero, Tyler inserted himself on stage and took over the podium, essentially using himself as bait. As the hunter took his aim and fired at Lockwood, Damon used the chaos that ensued as his opportunity to find this guy and rip his head off. He knew Indiana Jones would be high tailing it out of the church after he made his presence known by shooting a kid in broad daylight.

Damon ran out the front doors of the church but was greeted by an empty set of stairs. He couldn’t see where the hunter had gone. Pausing at the precipice of the steps, he closed his eyes and focused his hearing. The whir of a pick-up truck engine turning over caught his attention and he ran to the alley on the side of the church. As he reached the truck, he grabbed the handle and wrenched the entire door off of the body of the car. In the same moment, he grabbed the hunter and flung him to the ground, ready to rip his head off for the trouble he had caused today. However, as soon as the hunter’s back hit the ground he fired multiple rounds into Damon’s chest, causing him to hesitate, giving the hunter just enough time to reach up, grab Damon by the collar and reverse their position. In their scuffle, the hunter managed to grab a stake from the inside of his canvas jacket and brandished it at him. _This guy’s stronger than he looks_ Damon thought as he fought to keep a distance between the point of the stake and his heart.

“Damon! Damon!”

 _Oh thank god._ Damon heard Stefan yelling his name from the front doors of the church. He was just getting ready to call out to him when the hunter glanced over his shoulder, jumped up, and took off in his truck.

As Damon laid on the concrete, catching his breath, wincing as he breathed through the bullet wounds on his chest, he heard Stefan run up to him and watch as the hunter drove away. He followed the truck with his eyes until it turned out of view and then his gaze dropped to Damon. Stefan reached out his hand to help him up. As Damon reached up, grateful for the assistance, Stefan reared back and punched him across the face, dropping him back on the concrete.

“Oh! What the hell was that for?”

“You know what.” Stefan answered in a voice laced with anger and jealousy.

 _Oh right…_ Damon would be the last person to admit this to anyone, but, he probably deserved that. He did let Elena feed on him. If roles were reversed, he would have beat Stefan to a pulp. Remembering, he thought back to his moment with Elena in the restroom of the grill. Still laying on the ground, he closed his eyes and and chuckled softly to himself. _It was worth it._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finishing up season 4 episode 2
> 
> Stefan wants everyone to lean into their feels. Damon doesn't do feels. Damon drinks and feelings ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered what Damon was thinking about as he was standing in front of Stefan and the group at the high school. They were all going around listing off the names of those they had lost, over half of which Damon was responsible for. I had a lot of fun writing this to trying to get inside his head!
> 
> Plus, who doesn't love the monologue Damon gives to Alaric's tombstone!

Damon must have beaten Stefan and Elena back to the Boarding house. _It’s probably for the best_ he admitted. Not bothering with a glass, he grabbed a decanter of bourbon from the table in the parlor and walked up the stairs to his bedroom. He wasn’t really in the mood for company anyways. As he walked into his bedroom, taking a pull from the glass bottle, he remembered what he had been doing before Elena had called him for her 911. He had been packing. What seemed like a lifetime ago, he and Stefan had had a heart to heart on their little road trip to dump Klaus’s body. They had agreed that whoever Elena didn’t choose would leave town, leaving the other to live at peace with her. It was how they would ensure history didn’t repeat itself. Although Damon knew Stefan most likely wouldn’t hold him to that promise anymore because Elena was no longer human, Damon still wanted to honor their deal. It’s what he would have wanted from Stefan if the roles had been reversed, and selfishly, if he had to watch them be in love for much longer, he might just stake himself.

He wandered over to his half-packed duffle bag sitting on the edge of his bed. He took a drink and set the decanter down on his nightstand. Sifting through the things he had already packed, he was overcome with the urge to just zip it close and leave tonight. No epic goodbyes, no explanations, no guilt. He would leave Mystic Falls forever and just be a memory that Stefan and Elena danced around when they were reminiscing, maybe after having a little too much to drink. Maybe in a few decades he’d give Stefan a call, just check in, make sure he knew he was okay, perhaps he’d ask about Elena. But he wouldn’t come back and see her, it was too damn hard. He already pined after a face like hers for 145 years, he didn’t need to go through it again.

Having finished the decanter of bourbon, he reached for the zipper on his duffel, intent on closing it and putting his Irish goodbye into action. Then his phone rang. He assumed it would be Stefan, probably to yell at him again for blood sharing with Elena and then to ask for his help with this hunter. Not that Damon wasn’t a little worried about leaving with the hunter still running around loose in Mystic Falls, but currently the pain of watching Elena fall back into his brother’s arms outdid the worry he felt over one little human hunter. Besides, Elena had 2 vampires and a hybrid by her side to protect her. Not to mention she was a vampire herself, she’d be okay.

“What do you want, Stefan?” he answered, not bothering to check the ID.

“Damon? It’s not Stefan, it’s me.”

“Elena?” Damon ran his hand through his hair, sighing. “What do you want?” He knew he was coming off rude but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Besides, it would just make his leaving easier for her anyways. Remind her of what an asshole he could be.

“Listen, I want you to come to the high school right now. I can’t tell you why, but just know it’s important.”

Damon furrowed his brow in confusion. “The high school? Is something wrong? Are you hurt?”

“No, no, nothing like that. Just come, please. I want you to.”

Damn her… this woman was his kryptonite. He physically could not deny her, unless she was doing something that he thought would get her hurt or killed, then he could shut down her requests real quick. This seemed as though it was not one of those situations so…

“Fine. I’m coming. Be there in 10.”

“Thank you, Damon.”

He huffed in frustration at his own inability to deny that olive skinned, leggy, doe eyed girl anything, as he grabbed his jacket from where he’d set it on the back of his reading chair and headed downstairs.

* * *

As he pulled up to the front of the school, he was semi surprised to see the whole scooby gang gathered outside, including his brother. He began to wonder why it wasn’t his brother who had asked him to come, but he quickly realized that they had probably decided a favorable response was more likely if the request came from Elena. _Tricky bastards._ He thought as he got out of his car, slamming the door behind him. He approached the picnic tables at the same time as Bonnie.

“What are we doing here?” He asked.

“I don’t know…” she mumbled. “Ask Stefan.”

 _Well this was getting more and more suspicious._ “Stefan, what are we doing?”

Stefan launched into a feeling drenched monologue about how grief is meant to be acknowledged and feelings should be felt, and pain is beauty and beauty is pain or whatever. Damon twisted his face into one of skepticism. “So… you’re lighting lanterns?”

“Yeah, we need to do this.” Stefan responded, studying the paper lantern in his hands.

“No what we need to do,” _What ‘you all’ need to do,_ Damon corrected in his mind, reminding himself that he was leaving town tonight, “What we need to do is find out who this hunter is and what he knows about the death of the council. We have more important things to do than this.” He gestured at the pile of crinkled paper and wires atop the table in front of him.

“Not tonight we don’t.” Stefan challenged. Staring Damon down, almost as if he was begging him not to disagree.

Damon scoffed as he looked around at all the people in front of him. Catching Elena’s eye, she gave raised her eyebrows and tilted her head, as if asking him to concede. Finally, he took a step back, shrugging and rolling his eyes.

Stefan must have taken Damon’s silence as permission to begin this little lantern ceremony. He began listing off the names of people he had lost; Uncle Zach and Lexi. Damon furrowed his brow as a sliver of guilt broke through his conscience, he was responsible for both of their deaths. Then, Stefan named Alaric as another person they had lost. Damon wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotion that came over him. Luckily he was fairly practiced at schooling his features, but he thought Stefan saw the brief flicker of grief cross his face.

As they went around the group, everyone named off people they had lost. As more and more names were given, Damon was feeling more and more antsy. He wanted to be anywhere but here. He didn’t want to stand next to them and listen to them list off all of the people he had killed. Because, honestly, that’s what was happening. Uncle Zach, Lexi, Vicki, Tyler’s dad, Caroline’s dad, Anna, Jenna… all of those deaths were either caused directly by him or could at least be traced back to him. And these kids were standing there lighting lanterns, as if that was going to make them undead, make Damon unkill all their friends and family. All it was doing was stirring up feelings inside that Damon had done well to tamp down for the last 145 years.

After Jeremy had finished his list of names, ending with Alaric, he reached out to pass the lighter to Damon. He couldn’t take this anymore.

“Nope, no.. I’m not doing that.” He turned and stormed away from the group, not looking back until he had started his car and put the high school in his rearview mirror. He reached for the bottle of bourbon he always kept in his glove box, and just drove.

* * *

Somehow, Damon ended up at the cemetery. He was sitting on a cracked concrete bench and looking at a rectangular rock with the name of his former best friend engraved on it

“Floating lanterns in the sky.” He said out loud, to no one in particular. “Japanese lanterns as a symbol of letting go of the past. Well here’s a news flash, we’re not Japanese.” He took a generous swig of his bourbon. “You know what they are? Children.” He realized at some point he had started talking to Ric, at least to Ric’s headstone. “Like lighting a candle is going to make everything okay, or saying a prayer, or pretending that Elena’s not going to end up like the rest of us murderous vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating, little children.” He paused as he pictured how this conversation might look if he wasn’t just monologuing to a cement plaque. “I know what you’re gonna say… ‘It makes them feel better, Damon.’ So what? For how long? A minute? A day? What difference does it make?” Letting the liquor drive him, he stumbled to his feet and moved closer to the headstone. “Because in the end when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer, is not gonna make up for the fact that the only thing you have left, is a hole in your life, where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock, with a birthdate carved into that I’m pretty sure is wrong.” Damon paused, imagining the chuckle and eye roll that observation might have gotten him had Ric been standing next to him. As he paused, he felt the back of his neck tingle, as if someone was watching him. He turned around to the still empty cement seat he had vacated. The alcohol must be affecting him, making him feel things that weren’t there. Regardless, he left the bench empty and sat on a nearby headstone, still clutching his bottle of bourbon. “So thanks, friend.” He sighed, absentmindedly swirling around the remaining dregs of whiskey. “Thanks for leaving me here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now.” He thought back to the still half-packed duffel bag sitting on his bed back at the boarding house. “I didn’t get the girl.” He admitted, to Ric’s grave but also to himself. “I’m just stuck here, fighting with my brother, and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.”

He took a final pull from his bottle, purposefully leaving some in the bottom as a sort of parting gift to Ric’s headstone. Call it his version of flowers or what not. Sitting there in silence, staring at Ric’s grave, he realized he couldn’t leave yet. He told his friend he would take care of the kids. That meant he had one last thing to do before he left town. He gave the grave a final nod as he stood up and walked back to his car.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 3
> 
> Stefan's still pissed. Damon's on a hunter hunt. Meredith Fell to the rescue. Elena's a terrible liar.

Damon’s goal was to rid the town of this hunter as soon as possible, today with any luck. Then he could grab his bag, get in his car, and leave Mystic Falls in the dust. He was just finishing his shower when he heard his phone ring from its place on the bathroom counter. He turned off the water and forwent the towel, allowing himself to drip a path from the shower to the sink.

“Damon? It’s Tyler.”

“Tyler. What can I do for you Lockwolf? Need me to make a trip to petsmart? Run outta dog bones?” Damon really did enjoy winding up wolf boy.

“Shut up, listen. You need to know that that hunter guy jumped me this morning. He gave me some kind of paralytic and then stuck a needle into my gums. I think he was taking some of my werewolf venom. I don’t know what he’s going to use it for, but you guys needed to know.”

Damon’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Well that was shockingly useful information, Fido. Call me if you learn anything else.” He hung up the phone and leaned forward, resting his hands on the edge of the counter. _Well that ups the stakes a little bit._ Using his hand, he swiped a patch of steam off of the mirror. He looked up at his reflection. His usually unruly ink black hair was matted down with water to his forehead, causing him to look much younger, more as he did when he was Stefan’s age. He knew if he let it dry like this it would probably still curl at the ends like it used to. A few decades ago, he decided his curls reminded him too much of the human man he used to be, so he took great care in brushing them out every morning, sometimes even taking a quick flat iron to them, a secret he would take to his grave. He had nothing on Stefan’s hero hair blowout, but still it was something he chose to do.

Now that he knew the hunter had werewolf venom, Damon knew he needed to catch this guy as soon as possible. With Klaus only recently been placed back into his body after nearly being killed by them, he probably wasn’t keen to provide the group with any favors. Meaning, if one of them ingested werewolf venom, they would have a real problem on their hands.

Damon quickly got dressed and made himself a cup of coffee from the kitchen, adding in a generous few fingers of bourbon. He took a sip and smiled, _perfect._ He could hear Stefan doing something in the front of the house, the sounds of tools hitting metal, nuts and bolts being tightened and adjusted. Damon opened up the front door of the boarding house to reveal Stefan bent over his motorcycle, adjusting something near the rear wheel.

“Good day for a midlife crisis” Damon patronized, screwing the lid back on his thermos. “164 years, I’d say your due.”

Stefan paused his work on the bike and perched himself on the edge of the seat. “Elena’s transition to vampire has been a little depressing, I wanna help her have some fun.”

 _Well that’s rich coming from the guy who’s face always looks like he’s gotta take a shit,_ Damon thought. “Well those who can’t do, teach.”

Stefan made a noise that seemed to be a mixture of a scoff and a chuckle. “Oh I see we’re still fighting.”

Damon didn’t dignify that comment with a response. He simply raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement and took another sip of his coffee, embracing the slight burn the bourbon made on its way down his throat.

“Got it..” Stefan continued. “Where are you going?”

“That hunter jacked Tyler Lockwood of his werewolf venom last night. So basically, he’s got vampire poison in a bottle. And I’m gonna find him, and then I’m gonna eat him.”

“I’ll go with you.” Stefan stood up, readying himself to follow Damon.

“I don’t want your help. I just wanna kill this guy and get the hell out of town.”

Stefan stood silent, tilting his head in confusion, as if not understanding the conclusion of Damon’s plan.

“Isn’t that the deal?” Damon reminded him. “Whoever Elena doesn’t choose leaves?” He knew Stefan wouldn’t force him to follow through on that deal, but Damon didn’t care. He was choosing to honor it anyways. He wanted his brother to know that.

“That was before she turned.” Stefan explained, confirming Damon’s suspicion that his brother wouldn’t be the one to force him to leave town.

“And I stayed to help. But if I take you punching me as the first clue, I’m not wanted here anymore.”

“Listen, you blood-shared with my girlfriend and I punched you in the face. You deserved it. Why don’t you stop being dramatic?”

Damon’s mouth gave a half smirk as he glanced over to where his Camaro was parked. He knew this was all just a part of Stefan’s plan to convince him to stay. But he couldn’t, maybe he was being dramatic, but the idea of spending the next eternity in Mystic Falls watching the girl he loved play house with his brother, well even he wasn’t that sadistic to want to put himself through that.

“No brother, dramatic would be leaving _before_ I kill this hunter.” He decided to leave out the fact that that was his original plan. He gave his brother challenging glare for a moment, then he turned and strolled towards his car.

* * *

He had stopped by the cafe on the off chance that the hunter had stopped by for an early morning bite. If so, maybe Damon could eat him and be gone by supper. But, no such luck. He decided to swing by the sherriff’s office to see if Liz had any information for him. But, with only a name and basic description, there really wasn’t much to go on. Damon gave her the description of the hunter’s truck, including the fact that last he saw it, it was missing a driver’s side door. Liz promised to call him if anything turned up. He was walking down the steps of the police station when his phone rang.

“Little Gilbert. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Are you still looking for that hunter guy?”

Damon rolled his eyes. “You mean the hunter guy that shot Tyler Lockwood and now has enough werewolf venom to wipe out all the vampires in Mystic Falls? Yes, I’m still looking, you idiot.”

Jeremy continued, unphased. “Well he was just at my school. He came to talk to me I guess. Apparently, he has this tattoo on his arm that only I can see. He says that makes me a potential, potential hunter I guess.”

His eyebrows narrowed in interest. “This is all very interesting, if not concerning, Gilbert, but do you have any actual information for me? Like a location? Maybe some latitude, longitude coordinates even?”

“He said he’s on Hudson off route 13.”

“Wow. That was shockingly helpful information. Thanks Jer. I’ll let you know what I find out.” He hung up the phone and hurried over to his car.

He followed route 13 until it broke off onto Hudson. He purposefully pulled his car deep into the cover of trees so he would maintain the element of surprise, in case Crocodile Dundee decided to come home early. As he walked through the trees, he spotted an older looking teal camper parked at the edge of a clearing. There was a single folding chair and card table set out up front, with a bright blue cooler sitting by the door. Damon stopped for a moment at the door of the camper, listening for any sounds of movement inside. Hearing none, he gently pulled open the door, the soft squeak of the hinges seeming to echo in the quiet forest. He stepped up onto the first step, toeing his way into the threshold, checking for a barrier. Smiling at his luck, he stepped fully inside and gently closed the door behind him.

Glancing around the camper, he noticed an empty syringe near some beakers and tubes. _Most likely a syringe that used to be full of werewolf venom_ , he cringed internally. To his right, there was a table covered in various pieces of paper, on top, lay a journal, open and just itching to be read. He took a step towards the table.

“Ah!” Damon groaned, he glanced down at his chest,”Ow!” He examined the end of the arrow, the beginning having forced its way through him to his back. He reached out his hand to pull the arrow out but abruptly stopped when he realized the arrow was connected to something, a black box attached to the wall of the camper. Probably some kind of explosive. And given everything this hunter has been able to accomplish, probably an explosive that could actually kill him, or at least blow all of the hunter’s papers and journal to smitherines. He wasn’t going to be able to get himself out of this alone.

Groaning again, he reached his hand into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone. His heart sank as he scrolled through the numbers in his phone. The number of people he could call was quickly dwindling. He was too proud to call his brother, he didn’t need an ‘I told you so’ and another lecture about how Damon should stay. He refused to call Elena, he was trying to cut ties, not drag her back into his messes. Vampire Barbie, the werewolf, and the quarterback were all out too. They were in school right now and he really didn’t want them to know that he’d gotten himself into a bit of a bind. His thumb hovered over the box that said ‘Ric’. This was exactly the kind of situation he would usually call Ric for, but that wasn’t an option anymore. As Damon continued to scroll through his contacts, he found the name of someone who might just be willing to come to his rescue.

About 20 minutes later, he heard the door squeak open behind him.

“Why were you being so cryptic?” Meredith whispered.

“Come in, close the door.”

She gently shut the door and took a step up into the camper. She paused as her eyes were drawn from the arrow in his chest to the string that connected it to the black box on the wall.

“Please tell me that is not a bomb.” She demanded, still frozen in place.

“Okay, it’s a kitten. It’s an adorable exploding kitten!” Damon facetiously comforted.

“Why didn’t you call your brother?” Meredith was angry whisper yelling. Probably trying not to cause Damon to make any sudden movements.

“Because I’m proud, and stubborn, and…” That was more honest than Damon was expecting to be. “And… oh look, you’re already here.” He gave her his best grin, hoping to charm her into helping. She remained frozen by the door, looking at him, eyes wide with fear. _Time to try a different tactic_ he thought. “Come on, you’re not going to get hurt.” He assured her. “All I need you to do is be doctorly, cut out the arrow. I’d do it myself but if I move…” he gently tugged on the wire, causing the pin of the bomb to wiggle.

“Don’t….” she whisper yelled again.

He mimed an explosion with one hand, pleading her with his eyes to take a little pity on him.

“Ok.” She conceded, reaching for the blade to the left of him. It was about 9 inches long with a rubber handle. Damon could smell the dried blood on it. It was lying next to other surgical type instruments, most of which also had flecks of dried blood on them. _Apparently being a hunter didn’t get him medical insurance_. She got to work on his back, poking and prodding, attempting to make the wound large enough for him to pull the arrow back out the way it came. Hoping to pass time, Damon grabbed the nearest piece of paper from the table to his right.

“So how well did you know Pastor Young?”

“He was a patient of mine. He was always a nice guy.”

“Nice _crazy_ guy.” Damon corrected. “He wrote a letter about sacrifice and war brewing in Mystic Falls.” He flashed the letter over his shoulder so Meredith could see what he was referring to.

“What does he mean ‘a greater evil is coming’? I mean, don’t we have great enough evil already?”

“You’d think.” Damon set the letter back on the table and continued studying the parts of the camper he could see from his current position. Trying to find any clues that would help him figure out who this guy was and why the hell he was in Mystic Falls. His study was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out to check who was calling, hoping it was Liz with a lead. He was surprised to see Elena’s name show up on the caller ID. He hesitated for a moment, but eventually pressed the ignore button. She probably wanted his help with something, and he just didn’t have it in him at the moment to try and deny her. Best to take away the temptation all together. He rolled his eyes and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

“How’d you get stuck on hunter duty?”

Damon knew she had seen Elena’s name pop up on his phone and was fishing. “Stefan had a physics test.” He deflected.

“You are a good brother.”

He shook his head in surprise. _What?_ “I’m the bad brother.”

“You’re strung up to a bomb while Stefan plays vampire with a girl who broke your heart. But you are doing a very good job of acting like it doesn’t suck.”

Her response shocked him into silence. He was so used to everyone being on team Stelena, that everyone was relieved when Elena had finally made her choice and things could go back to “normal”. Not a single person had asked him or even acknowledged that he had been the collateral damage of that choice. He just stared at the windowsill in front of him, taking in her words. It was something Ric would have told him, Ric could usually see right through him. It was something that equally relieved and irritated Damon. Meredith’s words comforted him more than he expected.

“Ok, I think that should be good.”

Damon nodded, grateful to be pulled from his thoughts, and yanked the arrow out in one quick pull. It hurt like a bitch, but after a few seconds, his body began to repair itself.

“Thanks Doc. We better get outta here before Indiana Jones comes back.”

* * *

Elena’s car was parked outside the front of his house when he returned from the hunter’s camper. He figured she and Stefan had played hooky for the day, and taken his motorcycle out for a spin, so he was surprised when he heard the rustling of someone in his room. He paused at the top of the stairs. Even from this far away, he was pretty sure he knew who was in his room, and probably what she was searching for. It definitely explained her phone call from earlier.

As he walked into his room, he took in the mess she had made. Clothes and books were strewn about the room. She was standing in his closet, frantically digging through his pile of dress shirts.

“Hope you plan on cleaning this up.”

She gasped and whirled around, obviously so caught up in her search that her vamp hearing hadn’t heard him come in. She grasped her hands in front of her, twirling the daylight ring on her finger.

“I need bourbon to get through Rebekah’s party.” She stuttered, obviously lying to him. “Yours is better than Stefan’s”. Well he’d have to give her props for trying, she knew just what to say to butter him up.

Deciding to have a little fun of his own, before he clued her in that he knew she was lying, Damon replied “Top drawer in the dresser.” Gesturing to his large oak dresser on the far wall. She smiled in appreciation and went to go find his “bourbon”.

He smiled to himself and began to unbutton his shirt while he waited for her to figure out his little gag. He needed something to cheer him up, because so far, his day had been shit. The wound from the arrow was not healing as quickly as he would have liked. He pulled out his flask from his hip pocket and took a swig, just as she was turning around, holding a pair of his underwear by her finger.

“You keep alcohol in your underwear drawer?” The sarcasm dripping from her voice.

“No.”

She glared at him and shoved the black underwear back into the top drawer.

“But you weren’t looking for alcohol were you?” Damon revealed.

She turned to face him again, eyes widening in concealed shock, starting to put together that she’d been caught out.

“Do you actually think I’d leave the last remaining white oak stake where any vampire could just walk in and take it?” He finished unbuttoning his shirt, opening it so he could examine the wound that the arrow had left behind.

Elena stared at him uncomfortably. Not sure how to react to his acknowledgement of her real motives for being in his room. Apparently anxious to change the subject, she peered at his shoulder, “What happened to you?”

“Hunter mishap.” Damon offered, refusing to elaborate.

“You know he was at my school today?”

“Yup, Jeremy told me.”

Elena looked up at him in surprise. “Why were you talking to Jeremy?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He knew he was being a dick but he didn’t really care. His shoulder fucking hurt, and she was only asking him questions to avoid the real reason she came here. He didn’t really have a reason to play nice anymore.

“Damon..” she said his name the way she always did when she was about to lecture him about his behavior. “Don’t bring him into this.”

 _Of course, she assumes I’m the one dragging him into this, can’t entertain the idea that Jeremy might actually have volunteered this information._ “Perish the thought he might actually be useful, Elena.”

Stretching out his shoulder, he let his shirt fall from his back. He needed to shower, change, and get some people to help him catch this hunter and get him to talk. He reached down to undo his belt. He couldn’t help but notice Elena’s eyes, which had been planted firmly on his face, refusing to wander, now follow the movement of his hands down to his belt. He could have sworn that her breathing quickened as she watched him undo his belt. As much as he was enjoying Elena’s eyes on him, it was doing flippy things to his heart that he could not afford to deal with right now.

“You staying for the show, or…” He popped open the top button of his jeans. The sound was enough to break her staring spell. She gave a little jump and glanced up at him in embarrassment. She turned to hurry out of the room. “I’m finding that stake.”

 _Ugh this impossible woman,_ he grimaced at his own compliance. “Wait..” he called out. She paused at the threshold of his room, turning back around to face him. “Tell me this. Why do you want the stake?”

“I’m going to kill Rebekah Mikelson.” She replied, no hesitation, anger dancing in her eyes.

“Well that’s as good of reason as any, I suppose.” He mumbled. He turned to walk over to his bed, bending to reach underneath his mattress. Fumbling around until his hand closed down on what he was looking for. He pulled out the white oak stake. Honestly, its current location was just a temporary hiding spot. He kept meaning to move it but just hadn’t had the time.

“Here” he said, walking over to her and offering up the stake. She reached out her hand to take it from her. Right before she grasped it, he pulled it back.

“Nuh, uh, uh. Not so fast.” I need you to promise some things first.

“Really Damon?” she questioned, eyes fixated on the stake in his hand.

He pulled the stake back towards his body, just out of her grasp. “Number one; if Stefan finds out, tell him you begged it off of me. He’s already pissed enough at me as it is. Number two: Watch out for yourself at this party. This hunter’s got some nasty tricks up his sleeve and the last thing we need is another hunter mishap on our hands.” She nodded, reaching for the stake again. He quickly moved his arm behind his back, concealing the stake and causing her to take a step towards him. He looked down at her, taking another step towards her, closing the gap between their bodies.

“Number three, If you do decide to use it, don’t miss.” As he stared down into her big brown eyes, he took a moment to appreciate how close they were, and that he was shirtless. A fact that didn’t seem to escape Elena. She boldly allowed her eyes to break from his and openly roamed up the expanse of his chest until finally meeting his gaze again. Damon couldn’t tell exactly what she was thinking, but if he didn’t know any better, he would think she was looking at him in wonder.

The longer they stared at one another, the thicker the tension grew. Damon noticed that even their breathing was synchronizing, their chests moving in and out in time with one another. He took a moment to appreciate vampire Elena. She was still beautiful, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but there was something different about her now. Human Elena would never have allowed her eyes to wander his body while he was shirtless in front of her. Human Elena knew they had chemistry but tried her hardest to push back against it, to bury it. Vampire Elena seemed to be a bit freer in appreciating what they had, even reveling in it. Her smile was soft, but her eyes were blazing with a fire from within, filled with a passion that was not all that different from human Elena. However, now, she was no longer afraid to put that passion into action. Damon allowed himself to drown in her brown eyes for few moments longer, realizing that these moments were fleeting, due to the fact he was leaving town soon. It wasn’t until Elena allowed the tip of her tongue dart out to wet her lips that he came back to his senses. He cleared his throat and took a step back, giving her an encouraging nod.

“I won’t miss.” she replied, her face smiling but her voice laced with conviction. After curling her fingers around the stake, she turned and strode out of the room.

After she had left, he finished undressing and walked towards his bathroom. He was going to need a very cold shower.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 3
> 
> Jeremy's helpful. Klaus works with Damon. Damon just can't say no to Elena. Who the f*ck cares what Stefan's doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Damon... you really are love's bitch.
> 
> Also, the last part of this chapter is one of the favorite scenes I've written so far :)

He had decided that Tyler was probably his best option to help him catch this vampire hunter. He was immune to werewolf venom and sense he had been shot twice by this guy, Damon expected he’d have a vested interest in helping get rid of him. What he was not expecting was Klaus to answer Tyler’s phone, and agree to be the one to help catch this hunter. Somewhat puzzled by the change of events, he had to admit that having Klaus, a hybrid whose blood was literally a cure for werewolf venom, on his team, wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

He had already called Jeremy to put his plan in motion. Jeremy was going to get the hunter to come to the hospital, supposedly to catch out Meredith and her use of vampire blood for medicinal purposes. Damon had informed Meredith of his plan and she had already moved most the nearby patients to other rooms in the hospital. They were all set, the only thing left to do now, was to let the plan unfold.

It was all working exactly as anticipated. Jeremy had led the hunter to the supply room of the hospital, where Damon and Klaus were waiting. The hunter had fallen into the trap, unable to move, unless he was willing to be scraped off the ceiling with a spatula. As expected, the hunter was not being forthcoming with his responses to Damon’s various questions, but he didn’t doubt that, between the two of them, Klaus and himself would get some answers.

What he didn’t expect, was for Klaus to falter at the mention of the hunter’s disappearing tattoo. Klaus’s cocky grin faded into a concerned grimace.

“What do you mean ‘tattoos’?”

Damon wasn’t sure what all the fuss was about. “Don’t bother, you can’t see the damn thing.”

Apparently, this wasn’t a good enough explanation for Klaus. He walked forward and bent down to eye level with the hunter. “There’s more to you than meets the eye, isn’t there?” he murmured.

The hunter held Klaus’s gaze for a moment and then attempted to run him through with a stake he had probably kept stashed inside his jacket pocket. Klaus grabbed him by the wrist. “Nice try, but I’m faster than your average vampire.” He twisted the hunter’s arm until he was forced to release the stake from his grasp. Klaus pulled it closer to his face, examining it in his hands. Seeming to be particularly interested in the symbols carved into the end of it. Damon didn’t like how Klaus’s eyes grew wide with what looked like fear. If Klaus was afraid of something, Damon sure as hell didn’t feel good about it.

“You’re one of the five.” Klaus muttered, continuing his examination of the stake.

“What?” Damon asked, eager to know what the hell had Klaus so freaked out.

“I’m faster than your average hunter.” Damon’s gaze was pulled to the hunter, who was now kneeling in front of them. His hands grasped around the string connecting him to the black box of explosives attached to the metal shelves on either side of him. _Shit._

Damon moved quickly to the door of the supply room and leapt out, trying to put as much distance between him and the wall of fire that was exploding out of the room behind him. As the smoke and dust cleared, he saw Klaus stumble out of the room, a little surprised but otherwise unharmed by the explosion.

“What the hell was that? You looked like you saw a freaking ghost. You need to tell me what the hell ‘one of the five’ means.” Damon demanded, pushing himself up off of the floor, dusting the dirt and debris off his clothes the best he could.

Klaus, having obviously recovered his composure from earlier, smirked at Damon. “I don’t need to tell you anything. I do, however, need to go save your ex from dying an excruciating death due to werewolf venom.”

Damon paused the dusting off of his clothes, mid brush. “What do you mean? Did Elena get bit?” he implored, mildly panicking.

“Relax, Damon. She’s not your concern anymore, remember? I believe she chose Stefan to carry that burden if I do recall.”

Damon narrowed his eyes, trying to force his body to calm down. “Shut up. Tell me what you know. You wouldn’t just save her out of the goodness of your hybrid heart.”

Klaus looked at him intently and walked towards him until they were only a foot apart. “I’ll tell you what. I can either tell you why I wanted her alive, or I can go to her and make sure she stays that way.”

Damon grit his teeth. He knew he was backed into a corner. “Just go. Save her.” He bit out. Klaus gave him a smirk and turned, strolling off to go and save Elena, for whatever reason.

He paused for a moment and looked around the ruins of the hospital wing. _Fuck… Meredith is going to be pissed._ He went to the bathroom to clean the dirt and blood off of his face, as well as clean, what he assumed was, chunks of hunter off of his jacket. After he was cleaned up, he made his way back towards the central hub of the hospital. He chuckled as he watched Jeremy strike out with the nurse manning the nurses’ station. Jeremy turned around to face him, when he noticed Damon coming down the hallway.

“See! Told you I could be a bad ass.” He boasted, arms open wide as if gesturing at his bad-assery.

Damon rolled his eyes. Kid was helpful today but that didn’t mean he could let him walk around acting like an idiot. “Shh… Badasses don’t say that.”

Jeremy waved him off and walked off towards the exit of the hospital. Damon continued towards where he could see Dr. Fell conversing with a nurse.

“Doc, nice job!”

“You told me the plan was to lead him to the storage room.” She accused angrily.

“And we did. Congrats!”

“You left out the part about blowing up a hospital, with patients who are sick and fragile, and who don’t need things exploding down the hall from them!”

He grimaced at her complaints. Every plan was not without it’s flaws. He just happened to have failed to mention these flaws to her when he had first explained his plan. “It was contained. Nobody got hurt.” He reminded her. “Come on. Buy me a farewell drink.” He jerked his chin towards the exit. “We’ll talk about what the hell Klaus meant by ‘the five’.” Damon grabbed her arm to lead her out the door.

Meredith pulled back, releasing her arm from his grip. “You know you’re not going anywhere, Damon. And, I am not your new partner in vampire crime. Fix things with Stefan and Elena.” Damon looked her up and down in apprehension. “Don’t let your pride leave you all alone.” She turned and went into her office, closing the door behind her, leaving Damon to process all that she had said.

As he slowly walked back to his car, he thought about what she had said. He regretted admitting his feelings to her, letting her get close to him. However, deep down, he knew she was probably right. He was trying to replace Ric with her. She had just done and said the same things Ric used to do and say. Damon could see why Ric and the doc had gotten along so well. When he reached his car, he pulled open the door and slid inside, gently pulling it closed. Instead of reaching over to start the car, he leaned forward until his head was resting against the leather of the steering wheel. The cool leather felt nice against his almost healed burns on his head. He thought about the other things the doctor had said. She claimed that he would never actually leave Mystic Falls, that he was fated to stay and watch his brother and Elena have their epic love story while he stood back and cheered.

As much as he didn’t want to end up alone, he still didn’t see a future in Mystic Falls anymore. The only future he had seen was the one he saw with Elena. He had seen it from the moment he’d laid eyes on her in the middle of the road on that summer night. Every moment they had spent together since, had made that future clearer and clearer. He hadn’t realized how much he had clung to it until it was ripped away from him with one phone call.

Leaning up from his steering wheel, he leaned over and started the car, listening as it roared to life with little coaxing. He decided the doctor was wrong. He couldn’t stay. She might think it was pride that was going to leave him all alone but he knew the truth. It was self-preservation.

* * *

Before he left Mystic Falls in the dust, he needed to make one last stop. He pulled his car up to the curb, purposefully parking a street away from the Gilbert house. He didn’t want to be seen by anyone. This wasn’t a social call. He just needed to see her one last time before he left. Klaus had said he would heal Elena from the werewolf venom but Damon needed to check and make sure he’d kept his word. Although, based on Klaus’s expression, he was pretty sure he did.

As Damon slunk down the sidewalk, doing his best to remain unseen, he paused a few houses away from the Gilbert’s. He noticed a truck parked in front of the house, a truck he recognized as Matt’s. Now increasingly curious, Damon slipped onto the porch of the house, doing his best to stay out of the aggressive porch light. He could hear voices coming from inside the house, the kitchen, if he had to guess. He could hear Elena, voicing her concerns about all these new heightened emotions she was feeling. How scared she was of their intensity, how scared she was to lose control. Damon smiled to himself. He hoped she would soon learn that she had nothing to be scared of. All of those emotions only made her more herself, not less.

All of a sudden, the voices stopped. Damon furrowed his brow, turning his head to try and better capture their voices, but still, nothing. He reached out his hand to grasp the cool door handle. Just as he was about to turn it, he heard Matt’s voice, quiet, barely a murmur, commenting on how much she was taking.

 _Elena must still be feeding on him_ , Damon thought, surprised. He figured she would have found a stranger to feed from by now. He almost ran in to stop her, but he paused. She needed to learn to control the bloodlust on her own. That was what he had been saying from the beginning. Time to see if she had listened to him. If Stefan’s namaste, mind over matter, hippie crap was working.

“Elena, stop. That hurts.” Donovan complained.

 _Okay Elena, you can do it. Just stop feeding._ Damon thought, internally encouraging her to break free from the bloodlust.

“Elena! Elena!” Matt shouted.

 _Let his yell break you free._ Damon pleaded in his head, still unwilling to run in and save the day. _She can do this. I know she can._

It wasn’t until he heard a loud crash from inside the house that he finally conceded and ran into the kitchen, yanking Elena off of Matt. She snarled at the sudden removal, eyes scarlett, veins pulsing around her eyes, blood dripping from both sides of her mouth. Damon approached her how one would a frightened animal, hands outstretched, trying to calm her down until the cloud of bloodlust cleared. She lunged at Matt again, eager to finish what she started.

“Stop!” Damon commanded. Holding up his hand in front of her. He narrowed his eyes and caught her gaze. Waiting for the exact moment she came back to herself. He was honestly a little surprised she listened to him. He could see it the moment it happened. The veins around her eyes retreated and her eyes took on a wounded look. As if she was unaware of what had happened and how she had gotten there. She quickly put the pieces together, however, as she glanced from Damon to Matt’s arm and back to Damon.

He could tell she was starting to spiral, unable to cope with what she had done, or rather, almost done. “Matt… Matt I’m so sorry. I didn’t.. I didn’t mean to. Please I’m sorry!” She rambled, breaths rasping in and out in shuddering gasps.

Damon knew he needed to talk her off the ledge, before she shame spiraled out of control. But first, he needed to do some damage control. He looked at Elena, making sure she would stay put, and then turned to face Matt. He walked over to him and stared into his eyes, tapping into the part of himself that passed his will on to other people. When he first became a vampire, he was confused as to how it worked, now it was second nature.

Staring into Matt’s eyes, Damon said “It’s okay. Forget what just happened. You came over, she fed a little bit, and you left. Now go home.” He could tell it was effective because the fear on Matt’s face disappeared and was replaced by a relaxed and glazed over look. Matt stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

After Damon heard the front door close behind Matt, he turned back to Elena, who was still struggling to control her breathing.

“What have I done?” she asked, horrified by her actions. She looked like an animal that was getting ready to run.

He approached her cautiously, gently grabbing her shoulders. “Nothing you should be ashamed of.” He assured her. He searched her face, urging her to look him in the eyes. “You are a vampire now, you just have to learn the right way to be one.” She finally caught his gaze, but only for a moment. The fire and passion from earlier was now replaced with self-loathing and fright. His heart twisted as he watched the tears leak down her face, mixing with the blood that was already starting to dry on the sides of her mouth.

In the next moment, he made his decision. As much as he wanted to get the hell out of Mystic Falls, he couldn’t leave her alone like this. Obviously, Stefan’s process wasn’t working. Elena would have killed Matt if he hadn’t intervened tonight. As much as Damon wouldn’t grieve the loss of the football player, he knew Stefan was right about one thing. If Elena killed someone, she wouldn’t get passed it. Especially not if she killed one of her friends. Her compassion would transform into guilt and it would consume her. And the girl he loved so dearly, more than life itself, would be gone.

He studied her face, eager to give her hope. “and I’m going to teach you.” She gave a sniff and glanced up to look at him. Hope filling her eyes, just as he had wanted. He gave a comforting smile and nodded, affirming his words. She swallowed and cleared her throat. Lips coming together in a pursed attempt at a smile. What could best be described as relief flickered across her face.

He used his hand to comb back the hair that had threatened to cover one side of her face, using the motion as an excuse to cup her cheek and chin, relishing in the softness of her skin under his touch. As he continued to stroke her cheek, she nodded back at him, accepting his offer to help her.

After he had cleaned up her face with a warm washcloth, he led her upstairs to her bedroom so she could get some sleep. It didn’t seem right to leave her alone quite yet, so he sat on the edge of her bed, while she brushed her teeth and changed into her pajamas.

They hadn’t spoken much after he had announced his plans to help her. Just a few words here and there as she got ready for bed. As he sat on the edge of her bed, waiting, he grabbed the teddy bear that was sitting on her pillow. It was dusty brown and dressed in a little red bow tie. The fur around the ears was rubbed thin. He smiled as he pictured child Elena rubbing the ears back and forth between her fingers, maybe a repetition she used to help herself fall asleep. He copied the motion that he had imagined a very young Elena had used on the bear, all while trying not to listen to the sounds Elena made as she got ready. He looked up and saw that the bathroom door had not been latched. The air from the heater inside the house had caused it to creak open, leaving about 4-5 inches between the frame and the door. He stared, continuing to rub the ears between his fingers. Elena had already slipped on her pajama shorts, they were blue and lavender striped, faded from their years of wear. She hadn’t yet slipped on her sleeping tank. He watched as she gathered her hair into a ponytail at the top of her head, letting her fingers run through it, stopping to untangle any knots they found on their way down. After her hair was secure, she began lifting her shirt over her head, no doubt leaving just her bra underneath. But as she was removing her shirt, she took a step forward and out of view from Damon.

Damon blinked in surprise. He hadn’t realized how caught up in her actions he had become. He tried to stare down at the bear, but he was having trouble keeping his mind off of a half-naked Elena in the bathroom, not 10 feet from him. Thankfully, after a few minutes, she shut off the light and came back into the bedroom. He stood up, rather awkwardly, and helped her into bed. She smiled as she realized what he was doing.

“Are you tucking me in?” she asked.

“No, that would be ridiculous. Now hush.”

She giggled softly to herself and let herself relax into the cocoon of blankets he had made for her. He could tell that her eyes were already becoming heavy with the events of the day. He moved to brush the hair off of her cheek. Before he could pull away, she grabbed his hand.

“Will you stay until I fall asleep?” she whispered, eyes dark and pleading, long lashes leaving shadows on her cheeks.

He was so struck by how beautiful she looked in that moment, that all he could do was nod. She gave him another smile and then closed her eyes. It only took her a few minutes to fall asleep, but Damon stayed for another hour. Just watching her face, relaxed in a peaceful sleep, deep even breaths keeping time in the night. As he watched her, he thought about the events of the day that had led him here. This wasn’t how he had expected his day to go, but he was having trouble finding a reason to be upset by its outcome. He smiled once more at Elena’s sleeping form, leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, and slipped out quietly into the night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 4
> 
> Stefan's stuck on research duty. Elena's lecturing. Bonnie's lecturing. Poor Damon...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter but no worries, the next one is much longer. I've added some scenes that fill in the gaps between Damon promising to help Elena, and them actually heading to Whitmore. 
> 
> Next up, college!

As he quietly shut the front door of Elena’s house, he walked slowly down the street back to where he had parked his car. Letting the cool night air refresh him, he thought about the events of the day, particularly, what had happened at Elena’s house. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew one little promise from him wasn’t going to fix everything that had gone wrong between them, but it was a start. Since he had just agreed to basically stay in Mystic Falls until Elena got herself under control, Damon figured they’d better learn how to be friends. They’d done it before. Well, Elena had been friends with him, he’d been in love with her, but still. _This could work._ He thought. Teaching her how to feed would be the perfect groundwork for this friendship he was apparently trying to build.

When he reached his car, he got in and blasted the heater. Not that he needed it, but the warm air made his skin feel more akin to human, something he appreciated every once in awhile. As he drove back to the boarding house, an idea formulated in his brain. He knew how he could help Elena. He would call her in the morning to inform her of his plan. Hopefully she’d have no objections. Human Elena would have turned him down flat, Vampire Elena seemed a bit more willing to dip her toe into the grey area of morality.

* * *

He woke up early the next morning, lots to accomplish. He had compelled some construction workers to gather the hunter’s papers, documents, and other hunter supplies and drop it off at his house. He also needed to talk to Elena about his plan to teach her to feed.

As he was pulling on his black Henley, his phone rang. He tilted his head in confusion when he saw who was calling him.

“Well Elena, kind of early for a booty call.” He teased.

“Shut up, Damon.” He relaxed when he heard the slight chuckle in her voice. “I just wanted to call and say thank you…. For everything last night. I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there… so thanks.”

“You are very welcome. Actually, I was just getting ready to call you. I have a plan for how I’m going to help you.” He announced, walking towards the bathroom.

“Really? How?”

He reached into his toiletries drawer to grab a brush. “I’m going to teach you the art of ‘snatch, eat, erase’”. He looked into the mirror as he began to run the brush through his ink black locks, brushing out the bit of curl that had attempted to appear overnight while he slept.

There was a pause on the other end of the phone. “How are you going to do that?” she finally asked.

“Well..” he said, running the brush under the faucet and tapping off the excess water on the side of the sink. “We’re going to need to find a place full of people, preferably ones that don’t know you.” He ran the now damp brush through a particularly stubborn section of his hair, flattening it. “Have any place in mind? I was thinking maybe the mall or –“

“Actually yes…” she interrupted.

Damon was taken by surprise. He assumed he’d be doing all the leg work today. “Do tell, Elena.” He probed. He shook the remaining water off of the brush and tucked it back inside the bathroom drawer.

“Well Bonnie is taking a trip to Whitmore college today. She’s going to go get some of her Gram’s old stuff. I think she’s gonna talk to the professor that took over for her too. Would a college work?”

“A college would work perfect.” He replied, smirking. “I’ll come by before noon to pick up you and the Bennett witch.”

“Okay.” Elena sounded nervous. “See you then, Damon.”

Damon hung up the phone and raised his glance to take in his appearance in the mirror. He had managed to flatten and tame the curls in his hair and so it now had its perfect mixture of bedhead and carefully tussled look. This day was shaping up.

* * *

When he opened the front door of the boarding house, the boxes were waiting underneath the breezeway. He grabbed them and hauled them inside. He grabbed the first box and took it to the parlor so he could examine it more thoroughly, as he returned with the second box, hoisted onto his shoulder, he saw that his brother had come downstairs and was examining the contents of the first box.

“So what is all this stuff?” Stefan questioned, holding up a wooden stake, examining the carved markings on the end of it.

“Some personal items that I snaked from the vampire hunter’s RV. May he rest in peace.” Damon sarcastically kissed his hand and raised it to the sky in faux respect. “I’m searching for a supernatural handbook. Maybe it’ll explain what Klaus meant when he said he was part of the five.” Damon began unpacking the contents of his box, looking for any information that might be deemed useful.

“What’s the five?” Stefan questioned.

“That’s what I’m hoping is in the first chapter of the handbook.”

As Damon was finishing pulling the contents out of his box, his phone rang. It was Liz. Hopefully she had some good news for him. “Liz Forbes, my favorite sheriff. “

“Damon.. I think we might have a problem. When my guys were going through the explosion, they didn’t find any evidence of a body on the scene.”

“What?” Damon stopped his unpacking.

“I had them look through the scene again to be sure, but they confirmed. There were no remains at the crime scene.”

Damon furrowed his brow. “That’s… concerning. Keep me posted.” He urged.

His lips pressed together in worry, forming a thin line across his face. He quickly peeked at his brother’s awaiting face as he stuck his phone back in his pocket.

“What, you’re not going to tell me?” Stefan challenged.

Damon was never one to give up an excuse to push his brother’s buttons. “I can’t tell you. It’s private. We’re in a fight.” He made sure to give extra emphasis to the word fight.

“You’re in a fight. I’m not in a fight. I’m over it. I’ve been over it.”

Damon was a little surprised. He figured he’d be on his brother’s shit list for a little bit longer. “You’re not still mad at me about Elena?”

“You let her feed on you. I’m always going to be mad at you. But we’re not in a fight.” He mimed quotation marks when he said ‘fight’.

Damon wasn’t sure he believed his brother, but what Liz Forbes told him was too concerning to keep it to himself. He decided to go along with Stefan’s possibly feigned offer of peace. “Very well then. They didn’t find any remains at the explosion site.”

“So Connor’s still out there.” Stefan deduced.

“Apparently so.” Damon decided to test the limits of Stefan’s alleged peace treaty. “I’m going to need you to get on this today. I have to take Elena to college.” He delivered the end of his sentence with a gleam in his eye. Knowing his brother would have some words about that.

“I’m sorry. You have to do what, exactly?” Stefan’s eyebrows raised, creating deep wrinkles in his forehead. He leaned forward as if believing he misheard Damon.

“I’m teaching her how to feed.” Damon explained calmly, pretending that this reaction wasn’t exactly what he had expected when he dropped that piece of information. “She needs to learn snatch, eat, erase now more than ever.” He turned to take in his brother’s full reaction. Stefan’s eyes narrowed and Damon could tell he was about to spout off something, maybe even refer to Damon’s previous experience with Elena and feeding, but before he could get a word out, Damon put up both hands and pointed at him. “We’re not in a fight, remember?” He gave Stefan a wink and a smile as he quickly strode out of the room.

* * *

He pulled up to the Gilbert’s house shortly before noon. As he reached the front door of the house, he forwent knocking and just walked right in. He made his way into the kitchen where a tired looking Elena was sipping on a glass of orange juice. She glanced up at him in surprise, obviously not hearing him enter.

“You really need to work on tuning into your vampire hearing.”

Elena rolled her eyes as she finished her glass of juice and set it in the sink. “I’ll put that on my list of things to work on when I’m not always starving to death.”

Damon chuckled. _Someone was hangry._ “So where’s Bon Bon? We’ve got frat boys to eat.” He walked over to the kitchen island and leaned over, putting his forearms on the countertop.

“She’ll be here in a few minutes. She just had to grab a few things from her house first.”

Damon gave a slight nod, murmuring his acknowledgement.

“Be nice today, Damon.” She tilted her head at him, eyes narrowing. Elena’s go to look when she was preparing to lecture him.

Damon straightened and held both palms out, facing her. “Hey now, I’m always nice.” He gave his most charming smile. The one he knew showed off his dimples and usually made all the women swoon. Trying to drive his point home with a wink.

Elena continued, unphased. “Damon, I’m serious. Bonnie’s in kinda a weird place right now. She feels guilty she couldn’t help me before I completed the transition. She gets why I have to do this. Why you have to teach me this. But, that doesn’t mean she loves that it’s you teaching me. You and her haven’t exactly ever been close.”

 _Well that’s an understatement_ Damon thought. “I will be a perfect gentleman.” He assured her. “Believe it or not, I don’t particularly feel like getting attacked by a witchy headache today.”

They both turned as they heard the front door open. Hearing the tell tale sign of Bonnie’s boots on the wood floor as she made her way over to them.

“Ready to go, Elena?” Bonnie asked, specifically ignoring Damon’s presence.

“Yeah, let me grab my purse from upstairs and then we can go.”

Elena quickly moved to head upstairs, but not before leaving Damon with a warning glare. Then she disappeared up the stairs.

Bonnie and Damon sat in tense silence for a few moments. Both refusing to acknowledge the other. Just when he was sure Bonnie would ignore him the entire time Elena was away; she broke the silence.

“I hate this you know.”

“I know.” Damon replied.

“I don’t particularly like you either.”

“I know.” Damon acknowledged again.

“Good.” She paused, then let out a heavy breath. “But… I’m not an idiot. I know she has to learn this, and better now than after she hurts someone. Just know, I’m watching you today. I’m allowing you to come on this trip because she said it has to be you that teaches her. If I had my way, it would be Caroline or Stefan coming with us. But, Elena wants you to teach her and that is the _only_ reason I’m letting this happen.”

Damon was shocked by her admittance. _Elena said that I have to be the one to teacher her?_ Damon knew he told Elena that he _would_ teach her, but he had no idea that she had felt so strongly about it. He was a little confused by this new sense of loyalty Elena apparently now felt for him.

“I know, Bonnie. And believe it or not, I want to help her.” Damon replied, seriously.

“I know.”

They sat in slightly more amicable silence as they waited for Elena to return. Thankfully, he heard her bound down the stairs a few moments later. Apparently also not having learned the art of stealth since becoming a vampire.

“Okay guys-“ She started but paused, observing the slight tension that still permeated the kitchen. She must have decided it wasn’t worth investigating at the moment because she gave her head a little shake and continued, “Ready to go?”

“After you.” Damon said, gesturing towards the front door.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 4
> 
> Damon, Elena, and Bonnie spend the day at college. Insert tension, witch puns, and lessons all around.
> 
> Still not giving a f*ck about what Stefan's up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, the last scene in this chapter is just to answer some of my own trivial questions about this episode.  
> They all just happened to bring themed costumes with them from Mystic Falls? They all got ready out of the trunk of a car? Bonnie and Elena did their hair and makeup in a rearview mirror?
> 
> Nope... not buying it. So I wrote answers to my questions.
> 
> Also, next up: Sweaty dance party business ;)

The car ride was just as tense as he had expected. Elena was on edge, either from hunger or apprehension, or maybe some other reason he wasn’t aware of. Bonnie was just tense because she hated him. Damon was relatively unbothered and drove quickly, letting the music cut into the deafening silence filling the car and pointedly ignored the looks being exchanged between Bonnie and Elena.

Finally, they arrived on campus. Desperate to escape from the tension filled car, Bonnie and Elena jumped out almost as soon as he’d put it in park. He followed, more leisurely, joining them out on the sidewalk on the edge of campus.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he could hear Elena ask Bonnie.

“If I could spell you out of wanting blood, I would, but I can’t, so better you learn this now than at freshman orientation.” Bonnie replied in reluctant approval.

Elena glanced around the campus, taking it all in. “Something tells me college is not in my future anymore.”

 _She sounded so dejected._ Damon wanted Elena to realize that her life wasn’t over just because she became a vampire. In fact, in some ways, it was just beginning. He walked over to them, breaking up their little huddle. “Oh stop with the pity party. If I can go to college, then you can go to college.” He knew that fact would raise some eyebrows.

As if on cue, Bonnie looked him up and down with a raised eyebrow, obviously skeptical. “You went to college?”

“Sure I did. Plenty of times. I always had a thing for sorority girls.” He waggled his eyebrows at Elena, momentarily wondering if she might consider Greek life. He certainly hoped so.

Bonnie looked unamused. She shared a look with Elena, both rolling their eyes. “You’re disgusting.” She chastised.

“I know” he whispered with a lopsided grin.

Bonnie and Elena turned and began walking away from him, their sights set on the anthropology building ahead of them. He couldn’t help but stop to admire all the delicacies this college had to offer. He gave a particularly delicious passerby an appreciative look, and then turned to catch up with the girls. They were all planning on auditing one of Professor what’s-his-name’s classes, then he and Elena would break from the witch and he would hold a little class of his own.

* * *

Class had already begun when they snuck into the lecture hall. The professor was a man, probably in his mid-thirties, with curly brown hair and dark eyes. His profile was illuminated by the images projected on the large screen behind him. As Damon took a seat beside Elena, he noticed that the images were of witches and how they were depicted in folklore. He raised an eyebrow and tossed a skeptical look to Bonnie. _This was the occult professor? Definitely a step down from Bonnie’s Grams. At least she was a real witch._ Damon was shaken from his thoughts by Elena’s whisper.

“Is that him?” she whispered to Bonnie.

“Yeah..” she replied, almost dreamily.

“He’s kinda-“

“Hot?” Bonnie finished for her. The girls shared a knowing chuckle.

Damon looked at both of them, rolling his eyes. The professor wasn’t certainly wasn’t disgusting, but he wouldn’t go as far as to say ‘hot’. As they sat and listened to the professor, Damon began to think he had misjudged him. The professor was rambling on about things like witches, vampires, werewolves, even dopplegangers. It was all hitting a little too close to home for his liking. Elena was fidgeting next to him, obviously uncomfortable, especially when the professor said the word ‘doppleganger’.

“Who is this guy?” he whispered, attempting to calm her nerves. “Witchipedia?”

To his surprise, Elena chuckled at his joke. She usually was annoyed with his constant barrage of puns and tension breaking humor. However, continually on cue, Bonnie looked down the row of chairs and shot him a warning look, accompanied by a quiet ‘shhh’. He couldn’t help but notice that she had given Elena a confused look, following her reprimand. As if questioning her participation in the disruption. They quieted and continued listening to the lecture. After a minute, Elena broke the silence again.

“What if I’m a ripper?”

Honestly, he had been waiting for her to ask this question. He supposed it was only natural when her boyfriend was the actual Ripper of Monterey. “You’re not a ripper.” He assured, not even considering the possibility. It was ridiculous to think that Elena, the compassionate vampire, could ever become a ripper.

“What if I am?” she asked, more forcefully.

Apparently, she wasn’t going to let herself be convinced by him. “Well then pick someone and we’ll find out.” He suggested. She looked at him, nervously. He raised his eyebrows, showing he was serious, encouraging her to choose her first meal of the day. He watched as her brown eyes scanned the darkened lecture hall. Bouncing from student to student, finally pausing on a grungy flannel wearing boy twirling a pen in the front row. Damon decided it was time to start their first lesson. Picking a meal.

He leaned over so his head was near her shoulder. “Stoner guys are no good to grab. They’re too paranoid and you don’t need the extra buzz.” Elena gave a small nod to indicate she’d heard him and then continued scanning the room. Damon continued, “Now she is fun sized.” Elena paused to look at the petite woman with glasses, sitting a few seats away from the stoner. “But too alert. Geeky girls are inherently suspicious of anyone who’s nice to them.” He extended his arm over the back of Elena’s chair, allowing his forearm to rest on her far shoulder. He was momentarily surprised she didn’t shove off the contact, but quickly recovered and continued his lesson. He gestured towards a girl sitting in the middle of the hall. “What you want is the little blonde, pretty girl.” Elena followed his pointing fingers until she saw who he was describing. “Self-absorbed, easily flattered. You just have to separate her from the pack and make your move.” Elena nodded in understanding.

“Am I interrupting you guys?” the professor called out. Damon and Elena’s heads turned to the front of the room at the sound. “Or is it maybe the other way around?”

The professor’s interruption had obviously broken whatever moment they had had, because Elena quickly shrugged off Damon’s arm from her shoulder and leaned forward in her seat. He found himself annoyed at the little teacher and annoyed at the now lack of contact between himself and Elena. He felt eyes on him, so he turned to look next to him. Elena gave him a sly smile. _Did she think that was funny?_ He couldn’t help but return the smile with his own. _Vampire Elena certainly improved her sense of humor._ He actively ignored the flutter the exchange caused in his stomach.

Damon managed to behave himself for the rest of the class. When it was over, Bonnie stayed behind in the lecture hall, waiting for the crowd to disperse so she could talk to the professor and maybe even go up to her Gram’s former office. Damon was all too glad to be rid of the witch. It was time for the second part of his lesson. He led Elena out of the building and out onto the open campus. It didn’t take long for them to locate the blond girl from class. As they began following after her, Damon tried to give Elena a final pep talk.

“She’s young and healthy. She’ll heal up like a charm. Just keep your eye on the ball.”

“It’s not a game, Damon.” Elena argued, nervousness seeping into her voice, but attempting to mask it with anger.

“Fine, it’s not a game, it’s a high-stakes dangerous maneuver.” He replied honestly. “Now just go. Just like we practiced. That’s all you have to do.” Elena had been around vampires long enough to pick up on their process of ‘snatch-eat-erase’. It didn’t take much coaching on his part to make her ready to try it for herself.

Elena jogged over to the blond, quickly closing the gap between them. “Hey! You’re in my anthro class, right?”

As the blonde turned around, Damon turned away trying to not look as though he was standing watch. He was, however, listening intently.

“Uh, yeah. I guess so.” The blonde replied.

“I totally spaced and forgot to get the reading list. Do you have it?”

Damon couldn’t help but glance over, unsuccessfully suppressing his prideful grin at how well Elena was doing.

“Sure. Let me check.” The blonde looked down at her phone, no doubt digging up the asked for reading list. Elena waited a moment and then grabbed her arm, forcing the blonde to look her in the eyes.

“This isn’t going to hurt. Please don’t scream.” Damon watched as Elena stared at the girl compelling her to stay still and silent. Something on the phone caught Elena’s attention. She turned the blondes wrist so that she could see the phone more clearly. Damon was still trying not to lurk, instead looking towards the center of campus, waiting for the telltale smell of blood in the air, proving she had been successful. Instead, he heard Elena ask, “Who’s that?” in a concerned voice.

“It’s my little sister.”

Damon grimaced at her response. He knew where this was going. Sure enough, after a few moments, Elena compelled the blonde to go away and get back to class. He rolled his eyes. Teaching might prove more difficult than he had anticipated. Perhaps vampire Elena wasn’t as different from human Elena as he’d thought. “What the hell are you doing?” He demanded.

She remained facing away from him for a few seconds, took a deep breath, and steeled herself for his judgmental stare. He walked over to her, watching as the blonde walked away.

“I just… I saw the picture, and I …”

“Everybody is someone’s uncle or father or camp counselor or bible study teacher, Elena. You don’t know these people. Why do you care?” He knew he was really asking vampire Elena. He already knew human Elena would have cared about these strangers, but a piece of him hoped that vampire Elena might be less burdened by her compassion

“I care because I’m still me!” she responded, voice rising in anger, seeing through his question. “I still have the same feelings, Damon. Sorry if that spoils your master plan to turn me into a super vampire.”

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her insistence. Honestly, it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than him that she was the same person. As he was trying to formulate a response, they were interrupted by Bonnie, having returned from the anthropology building.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Elena’s educating me on the importance of feelings.” He didn’t really feel like arguing in the middle of campus in front of Bonnie.

Apparently also eager to drop it, Elena asked “Did you talk to the professor?”

“For a second. He found some stuff of my Gram’s in his office and he’s going to dig it up for me.” Bonnie paused and reached to unfold the piece of paper from her back pocket. “Oh, uh this.” She offered the paper to Damon and Elena, hesitantly.

Damon smiled as he read the flyer, _perfect._ “Oh nice. The answer to all of our problems. A frat party, douche central. Which is why,” he rubbed his hands together, “You’ll be eating very well tonight.”

Elena and Bonnie shared a look of apprehension, but Damon didn’t care. This party was the perfect place to continue his lessons. “So what should we go as, victims? Or killers?”

* * *

Damon had insisted that they needed costumes if they were going to blend into the party. So, he promptly drove them to the only costume shop in town. As he parked the car, he turned to look at Elena and Bonnie, who had been sitting in uneasy silence since leaving the campus.

“Well I, for one, have been told I have a more murderous aura. So, I’ll be going as Jack the Ripper.”

Bonnie rolled her eyes but Damon noticed that Elena fought back a grin. “Just go in and buy us whatever’s on sale, Damon. We’re not going to this party for fun anyways, we’re going for Elena. So you can help her.”

“Fine, party pooper.” Damon shook his head in annoyance as he opened up the door and walked towards the shop. Sometimes that witch sucked all the fun out of things. It only took him a few minutes to gather the pieces they’d need for their costumes. As he stood in line to check out, he glanced over to the car. In it, he could see Elena turned around to face Bonnie. He couldn’t hear them, but whatever the topic of their conversation, it wasn’t making Bonnie very happy. Her forehead was creased and her eyes narrowed in response to whatever Elena was saying.

He quickly compelled the cashier into giving him a very steep discount, grabbed his bags, and walked back out towards the car. As he leaned down to grab the handle of the door, Elena abruptly turned back around to face the front. As he slid into the driver’s seat, he noticed both girls had ceased their conversation.

“So… what did I miss?” he teased, highly doubtful he’d get an honest answer from either of them.

“Nothing.” Elena responded, staring down at her hands. “Just trying to decide how to do our hair for tonight.”

Damon scoffed at her response. He knew she was lying but decided to let her have her secrets, for now. He started the car and made his way towards the hotel he had seen on their way into town. He quickly compelled them a room for the next few hours so they would have a place to leave their things and change into their costumes.

The room still plagued by tension, Damon excused himself to go and get some ice from down the hall. Hoping the two besties would hash out whatever had them wound so tight. Elena was not going to have a successful night if she couldn’t let go, even a little bit.

As he returned from filling the ice bucket, he decided to quietly sneak back into the room, hoping to maybe catch the continuation of whatever conversation they were having in the car outside of the costume shop. As he gently closed the door, he held the handle to ensure Elena couldn’t hear it latch. He set the ice down and snuck closer to the bathroom door, realizing they had shut themselves in there to change. He considered being a decent person and making his presence known, but he quickly gave up on that idea, grabbed a mini bottle of scotch from the minibar, and honed in on the voices coming from underneath the closed bathroom door.

“I don’t see how you can trust him, Elena. It’s Damon for god’s sake. Have you forgotten everything he’s done? Everyone he’s taken from us? He’s impulsive, selfish, and he’s just an ass.” Bonnie argued. He heard the sound of a brush hitting the countertop.

He could hear Elena sigh, probably considering Bonnie’s words. “I know who he is Bon. I know what he’s done. I can’t explain it, but I trust him with this. I know he would never let me get hurt.”

Bonnie scoffed, “It’s Damon. He might not let you get hurt but he doesn’t give a crap if you hurt someone else.”

“He knows what hurting someone would do to me, Bonnie! I don’t think he wants me to go through that. If he didn’t care, then he would have let me kill Matt yesterday, but he didn’t. He forced me off of him and then compelled Matt to forget.”

“But that’s just because it was Matt! He knew that if he let you kill Matt, none of us would ever forgive him. I don’t think he’s going to feel the same way about some stranger at a frat house.” Bonnie continued to argue.

“He could have just left. He could have listened to me kill Matt and then just walked away. No one would have had to know that he was even there. Damon chose to come in and stop me.”

Bonnie considered this for a moment. “I just don’t think this is a good idea…”

“I really think Damon just wants to help me, Bon. If you can’t trust him, then please” Elena sighed. “Trust me.”

“I do trust you Elena!” Bonnie shouted. Damon heard Elena shush her, probably reminding her that they may have vampire ears listening in. Bonnie continued at a whisper, “That’s not the problem.” She paused for a moment, then continued, “What’s going on here, Elena? Why are you even here with Damon? Where does Stefan fit into all of this?”

There was a long pause, he assumed Elena was pondering how to answer Bonnie’s question. He found himself unconsciously leaning ever so slightly towards the closed bathroom door, also eager to hear her response.

“I can’t…. I can’t bring Stefan into this. He has his own feeding problems without having to deal with mine. I tried to stick to animal…. You know” He chuckled silently to himself, she still couldn’t bring herself to say blood without getting all flustered. “but I just couldn’t do it. It won’t stay down and as much as I hate to say it, Damon is right. The longer I go without eating, the less control I have and the more likely it is that I’m going to do something I can’t take back. I have to do this Bonnie. Please.”

He could hear the desperation in her voice. They both waited, on opposite sides of the door, equally anxious to hear Bonnie’s response. As much as Damon hated Bonnie, he knew how important her opinion was to Elena.

“Fine… fine. I don’t like it, but I get it. You need to eat and we’re pretty low on options for teachers around here. But I want you to be careful. You may not be able to handle Stefan’s lifestyle but that doesn’t mean you have to jump full on into Damon’s. You can do all of this your own way. It’s not one way or the other. Remember that.”

It got quiet after that. He assumed Elena nodded her agreement to her best friend and they are currently hugging it out after their little heart to heart. He found himself considering Bonnie’s advice to Elena. Damon knew he didn’t want Elena to be like Stefan, but did that mean he really wanted her to be like him? Not quite willing to go down that thought process, at least not sober, he decided it was time to make his presence known.

He walked over to the hotel door and opened and closed it, faking his arrival back into the room. He quickly changed into his own costume, straightening his vest and placing the top hat on his head. He took one final glance in the mirror, put on his best mischievous grin, and gave a sharp rap to the bathroom door.

“Come along ladies, it’s time to get rippered!”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 4
> 
> Damon, Elena, and Bonnie go to a college party. Bonnie talks to creepy professor. Damon and Elena dirty dance. (Insert emotional shame spiral)
> 
> Stefan is probably doing something with someone back in Mystic Falls. But we've already established I don't give a f*ck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *phew... things get a little spicy on the dance floor!
> 
> Much fun to write ;)

He could hear the party before they saw it; the sporadic bump of the bass in the music contrasted by the steady heartbeats of all the sweaty twenty-somethings packed into the Greek house on the corner of the street.

As they walked up the stairs of the frat house, Damon considered for a moment what they would do if he and Elena couldn’t enter, luckily, he didn’t need to make other plans, because they passed easily over the threshold. Properties owned by organizations were sometimes a grey area as far as vampire invites were concerned. He had once picked up a girl from a bar and brought her back to a hotel room he had compelled from a vacating guest, only to find he couldn’t enter. He didn’t let the night go to waste however, he just had her for dinner instead.

“Hey! I’m Frankie.”

Their greeter, Frankie, turned out to be the flannel wearing stoner from the Professor Creepy’s class. He took a sip of his drink and gestured at his outfit.

“Unassuming serial killer”

Damon struggled not to roll his eyes. Frat boys always thought they were hilarious. He grabbed a few drinks from the sexy sorority girl with the fake knife sticking out of her head. He passed one to Elena and one to Bonnie.

“I’m Jack, and these are the two lovely ladies that I just…. Rippered.” He was going to have to think of a better word for that.

“Welcome to the murder house. Bloody Mary’s free until midnight. Enjoy yourselves.” Frankie gave them a cheers with his own drink, and then turned back to the party.

Damon had a love/hate relationship with frat parties. He loved the easy meals made out of drunk unsuspecting sorority girls, but he hated the frat boys. They always thought they were god’s gift to all. “Well, hats off to these idiots.” He tipped his hat. As he was putting it back on, he noticed a familiar face standing towards the top of the stairs. “Oh look, there’s professor creepy.”

“His name is Professor Shane, and he’s not creepy.” Bonnie corrected. “I’m going to go talk to him.” She handed her drink Elena and headed up the stairs.

Now that the witch was occupied for a while, Damon was eager to show Elena how much fun this night could be. He led her into the crowded dance space. “Inebriated sleazeballs all covered in blood. Come on, pick one.”

He couldn’t help but notice Elena briefly looked behind her, checking to see if Bonnie really had left them. Then, she started looking around the room. Damon knew he couldn’t rush her. She had to find someone on her own, someone who her compassionate little heart would deem as “worthy” to be fed upon. Her gaze bounced from person to person, pausing at a few party goers, as if considering them, but then moving on. Something caught his attention towards the back wall of the party. It was a large beefy looking frat boy. He was obviously trying to flirt with the girl in front of him. Damon could feel Elena pausing and watching him as well. As they watched, the beefy frat boy waited until the girl was distracted, and then he slipped a little pill into her drink.

“I think I found one.” Elena stated.

Damon smirked. He knew she had seen what he did. “Roofie guy?”

“Mmhmm” she nodded.

“Nice choice. Go get ‘em.” He felt a bit like a coach giving a pregame pep talk. In a way, he kind of was. Elena could claim this wasn’t a game, but Damon knew better. Vampires were predators and humans were the prey. Predators needed to strategize and be competitive in order to survive. It was a high stakes game they were playing, but a game none the less.

He watched as Elena sauntered over to the guy, both of her drinks in hand. She fake stumbled, causing herself to bump into roofie guy. He could hear Elena apologize and watched as she stared at him. Damon couldn’t see her face, but if Elena was flirting, then frat boy was helpless. She was probably batting her doe eyes at him, biting her bottom lip, maybe even giving him a sly smile, encouraging him to follow her.

It didn’t take long for his suspicions to be proven correct. Elena excused herself to the back room and the boy quickly followed, no doubt assuming his luck had just turned for the night. Damon felt himself become a little uneasy. He knew Elena was more than capable of taking care of herself, but he decided to follow her back just in case he was needed. He walked in just as she was biting into frat boy’s neck. So far, she was doing great.

“Now remember, the idea is not to kill him.” He gently reminded. Elena gave no acknowledgement that she had heard him.

“Elena.” He prodded. She continued to feed, increasing in fervor. Things were starting to get away from her. “Elena, step away from the ledge.” He waited another moment “Elena!” he whisper-yelled, still attempting to get her attention.

Suddenly, she released the roofie boy with a gasp. After a moment, she compelled him to leave and forget what had happened. Damon smiled. He was proud of her.

“Nice touch. How do you feel?” he questioned, curious if any tendrils of guilt were pushing through her mind.

She turned around to face him, a smile filling her face. She used the back of her hand to wipe off the drops of blood escaping from the sides of her mouth. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her look so alive, and so much like herself.

“I feel good!” she gasped, beaming at him.

He gave a little fist pump into the air but was shocked when Elena leapt forward and threw her arms around his neck. He knew it was likely only a result of the bloodlust like high she had as a result of feeding, but he found he didn’t really care. He relaxed into her embrace, moving his arms hold her in return, trying to communicate exactly how proud he was of her. He was trying to remind himself of his internal promise of platonic friendship, when he felt her warm breath on his ear.

“I want more.” She breathed in a husky voice, already thick with bloodlust.

The whisper tingled the hairs on the back of his neck, and he felt something stir in his stomach. He opened his eyes wide as the night suddenly spread out before him, full of possibilities. _This was going to be fun._

Elena grabbed his hand and dragged him back to the main room, eager to recreate the success she had feeding on the frat boy. Damon decided to stand by the bar and watch Elena and her next prey, wanting to ensure she could still remain in control. She had done so well with the frat boy, but she was still a new vampire. Damon wanted to make sure the first time wasn’t just a fluke. He didn’t need to worry however, Elena was a natural. She carefully eyed the room until she locked eyes with her next target, a petite dark haired girl with blue eyes, dancing alone in the corner of the room. He watched as Elena maintained eye contact as she strutted across the room, appreciating how she allowed her hips to sway in time with the music, the brunette obviously appreciating it to.

When Elena finally reached the corner, she used her hand to caress down the brunette’s arm, steadying her and encouraging her to look up at her. He watched as Elena compelled her to stay still and silent, assuring her she would not feel a thing. She reared back her head, baring her fangs, and closed in on the girl’s neck. After about ten seconds, Elena pulled back and used her thumb to wipe up the few drops that threatened to drip down her victim’s throat. She gently pulled her thumb into her mouth, sucking of the excess blood. Damon watched as Elena grabbed the brunette by chin, compelling her to forget what had happened and to enjoy the party. He couldn’t help but smile at her second success of the night.

He wasn’t prepared for what he saw when Elena turned around. The blood had dripped down the sides of her mouth, following the curve of her neck until finally disappearing into her cleavage. Her eyes were wild and unbridled, the darkness of her pupils reflecting the flashing light in the room. As he stared at her, the rest of the party seemed to melt away. The music faded to a buzz and the people seemed to run together in colorful masses. She was all he could see, all he could smell, all he could hear. See the blood running in little rivers down her face, begging to be cleaned up by his tongue. She still smelled warm, like vanilla or coconut, but now that was mixed with blood and her sweat, he didn’t think he’d ever smelt something so delectable. He could hear her heartbeat, steady, despite all the action happening around her. After a few moments, Elena gave a mischievous smile. Unblinking, she pulled the corner of her bottom lip into her mouth.

Damon’s eyes went wide. This night was getting away from him. He knew he had a choice to make. Remain on the outskirts of the party, keeping watch on Elena like the good brother, or give in to what his mind and body wanted. He broke eye contact with Elena as he turned back to the bar, weighing his options.

In no time at all, Elena appeared at his side. They exchanged a quick glance and he opened his mouth to speak, when she quickly held out a hand to stop him.

“Two tequilas, double shot.” She smirked and gave a shrug. “It’s a party, right?”

He chuckled as Elena handed him his shot. _I just can’t say no to this girl_ he thought. They clinked their glasses together.

“It’s a party.” He agreed, tossing back the drink.

* * *

He wasn’t exactly sure how the evening got so far away from him. One minute, he and Elena were tossing back tequila shots, him eventually switching to the shitty college whisky, and then, they were dirty dancing in the middle of the dance floor, and she was sucking blood off of his fingers.

He had to hand it to Bonnie, this party was the perfect feeding ground. They didn’t need to worry about the mess because the blood paired perfectly with everyone’s costumes. Everyone was packed together, lights flashing, smoke machine blurring everyone’s vision. They were easily able to move from person to person, feeding as much as they wanted, from whoever was closest.

Damon couldn’t remember the last time he had fed so carefree. He knew it must have been when he had his emotions off. Not that he felt bad about feeding on humans now, but he did have to worry about things like the mess, if they were on vervain, and the dead bodies raising suspicion. It tended to put a damper on the thrill of the feed. However, here at the party, he was unencumbered by any of those concerns, free to feed from whoever he wanted and as much as he wanted, as long as he left them standing.

He wasn’t hungry anymore, but that didn’t stop him. He was too caught up in the high of it all. He was mesmerized by Elena. She moved from person to person, compelling and drinking from them until she had her fill, as if she’d been doing this her whole life. She was unpredictable, sometimes she fed from the wrist, sometimes the neck, sometimes men, and sometimes women. There didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason.

He was just pulling off of his latest meal when he turned and looked around for Elena. He saw her finishing up with her latest meal choice as well. Suddenly, it was as if they were two magnets, being pulled to one another from across the dance floor. When she got close enough, she threw her arms up around his neck, pulling him near her, as if he could have resisted. He was riding high on blood, bourbon, and her. He settled his hands around her waist, once again blown away by how someone so small could have so much power of him. They began to move to the music, up and down, side to side, mimicking one another as they let the music guide them.

He felt her release the back of his neck with one hand and trail a finger down the column of his neck. He shivered at her touch, eyes widening when he realized what she was doing. She pulled her finger into her mouth and sucked off the excess blood she had collected from the side of his neck.

Damon gave a low growl and grabbed Elena’s hips more forcefully, pulling her towards him until their hips were flush with one another The beat of the music slowed which allowed him to move her more purposefully, grinding together and moving as one. As she pulled the now clean finger out of her mouth, she turned her eyes up towards him, pupils blown out long ago from the effects of alcohol and blood lust. She pulled her lip back into her mouth and he felt her legs spread, ever so slightly.

He stifled a surprised groan as he allowed his leg to slip between her own. She returned her hands to their place around his neck and pulled herself closer to him, grinding along his leg as she did. They paused for moment as they tried to control their breathing. Then, Elena began rolling against him, dancing along to the music, each dip of her body allowing her to grind against his thigh.

Damon groaned as he felt Elena push down onto his leg, hesitantly at first but more confidently as the song continued. He was pretty sure he had lost the ability to speak, or think, or do anything except let Elena dance/grind against him. He knew most of his blood had gone south, leaving very little for thinking rationally. He desperately wanted some friction of his own but he was terrified to move, in fear that the bloodlust of the party would clear and Elena would realize what she was doing.

So, he relaxed into the moment, letting the music take them. He savored the noises Elena was making as she danced and pushed down onto his leg, releasing little pants and groans. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get those noises out of his head if he tried. He was lost in the sights, smells, and sounds of the party when all of a sudden Elena stopped moving.

He opened his eyes and watched as shock filled her face, lips parting and eyes blinking, as if trying to clear her vision. He turned to see what had caught her attention and saw Bonnie, standing near the entry of the dance floor area. She did not look pleased.

He was sure he and Elena must look quite a sight. Elena was covered in blood, hair mostly lost its curl, and her skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He was sure he didn’t look all that different, although in his case, his hair was probably gaining curl, not losing it. Elena looked at him like a deer in the headlights and took off towards Bonnie, eventually pushing past her to make her way out the front of the house.

Damon knew he should follow her, but he needed a moment to decompress. Not 20 seconds ago, he and Elena were deep in a dirty dance and he needed some time to come down from that, specifically, certain parts of him needed to come down from that. He didn’t really want to go talk to the witch and talk Elena off the bridge sporting a hard on. After a minute or two, he got himself under control and made his way out to the front of the house to calm down a newbie vampire and a witch, who were probably both deep in an emotional spiral by now.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 4
> 
> Post sweaty dance party business. Bonnie judges. Elena stews in her guilt. Damon's in his feels. Stefan shows up at the end for like 3 seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, the hotel scene is just a way for me to explain how the heck Elena and Damon showed back up to the Gilbert house completely clean and normally dressed! I just needed some answers.

By the time Damon had pushed through the crowd of party goers to make his way to the front door of the house, Bonnie and Elena were standing in the middle of the front lawn. Still feeling the euphoric effects of the buzz caused by the blood, liquor, and Elena, he waited a few moments by the front door to gather himself and to shamelessly eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Who am I? Why am I acting like this?” Elena pleaded as she desperately tried to wipe the trails of blood from her neck and chest.

“Because you listened to Damon and Damon makes everything he wants sound like a good idea.” Bonnie responded.

Damon scoffed at the witch’s reply. As if all of this was his idea? It was Elena’s idea to come to college, and Bonnie’s idea to come to the party. All he did was following along and reap the benefits. Yet, of course they blamed him. He compelled the shirt off of a nearby frat boy and used it to clean the blood off of his face and neck. Then, he made the way towards the girls.

“I should be here with Stefan. I shouldn’t be here with him! I should be going through all this with Stefan.”

Damon found it a little ironic that Elena was repeating back the very advice Bonnie had given her earlier in the evening. He rolled his eyes and decided it was time to make his presence known to stop this little shame spiral. He cleared his throat, causing both Elena and Bonnie to turn and look at him, apparently surprised that he had followed them out of the house.

He did his best to school his features into one unreadable “I’m guessing we should hit the road.”

Bonnie turned to face him completely, anger and accusation in her eyes. “You were supposed to help her, instead you let her get completely out of control.”

“She’s not out of control, she was having fun.”

“This isn’t fun. She’s acting like a different person!”

“She is a different person!” _Why am I the only one that seems to get that around here,_ he thought. “She’s a vampire. We’re a predatory species, we enjoy the hunt, the feed, and the kill, and when the guilt gets too bad, we turn off our humanity” he snapped his fingers, “and we revel in it.”

Is that what you want? Her to be like you?”

Damon gave frustrating roll of his head, settling his gaze back on Bonnie. “She already is like me, and you know what makes me able to drink my fill and leave someone breathing and not rip their head off like my brother?” He paused, never one to pass up a chance to remind people of the atrocities his brother had committed. “I can revel in it. I can make it fun.” He looked past Bonnie to catch Elena staring intently at him. If he didn’t know any better, he would almost say he saw a glimpse of understanding in her eyes.

After a moment, Damon pushed past Bonnie, deciding he was done with her judgey tone, and made his way back to the car.

* * *

The ride back to the hotel room was somehow even more uncomfortable than all of the other trips they had taken today, Damon wasn’t even sure how that was possible. As he pulled up to the front of the hotel, he parked the car and turned it off. Continuing to stare straight ahead he broke the silence.

“We should head back soon, so let’s shower and change and try to be on the road in an hour.” Met with only silence, he assumed they had no disagreements with his plan. They all poured out of the Camaro and made their way to their room. As they walked into the room, Bonnie and Elena shared a look and immediately grabbed their clothes and headed into the bathroom to shower and change.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Damon unbuttoned his bloody top shirt and shoved it into the trash, leaving himself standing in only his white tank top. He rummaged through the mini bar and grabbed a few bottles that he hadn’t gotten to prior to the party. Bonnie’s scolding and his vampire metabolism had quickly rid him of the buzz he had had. He flopped down on the bed, crossing his feet at the ankles and leaning against the wicker headboard, and unscrewed the lid of one of the bottles. Downing the first bottle in a single go, he threw it towards the trash can, not finding it in himself to care if it went in or not, and quickly opened the next bottle.

The sound of the shower drowned out any voices that might have been coming from the bathroom, but honestly, he didn’t care to listen. He figured Bonnie was probably a broken record going on and on about how terrible he was, and Elena was just listening quietly, pining for Stefan. He did have to smile a little bit though. Damon had been a vampire for over 140 years, but he still remembered what it felt like to feed for the first few weeks. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. It was as if every nerve in his body was awake and tingling with satisfaction. Over time, the sensation faded, but Elena was still brand new. Her senses were ultra-sensitive. He knew that even if she was upset with him, or disappointed in herself, every nerve in her body was alive right now. That gave him a sense of satisfaction, he helped her feel that way. He gave her that. He smirked to himself and opened the third mini bottle, choosing to sip on it as he reflected on the day.

After a few minutes, the bathroom door opened, and Elena and Bonnie walked out. Elena drying her hair with a towel and Bonnie holding an armful of their shed costumes.

Refusing to look at Damon, Bonnie turned to Elena, “I’m going to go put these in the dumpster I saw out back so no one will see them.” As she turned to walk out the door, Damon quickly grabbed his own bloody shirt from the trash and threw it towards her. Bonnie snatched it out of the air and walked out of the room without another look.

Damon stared at Elena. They were finally alone for the first time since the party. He wanted to say something to her. Defend himself? Comfort her? He wasn’t sure. He opened his mouth to speak but Elena interrupted.

“Bathroom’s free. I mean… if you want to clean up.” She combed her fingers through her wet hair, tossing a glance towards his neck and chest which still had residue of blood spatter.

“Yeah… I think I will.” Damon quickly grabbed his original clothes and headed into the bathroom, leaving Elena standing alone in the middle of the room.

He shut the door and took a moment, leaning against it, closing his eyes. This whole night had gotten away from him. Bonnie may not believe him, but he really had come all this way just to teach her to feed. He didn’t plan any of what had happened at the party. It just happened. He pushed away from the door and turned on the shower. Stripping off the rest of his costume, he ran his fingers through his hair. He hated when his curls showed, and they were in full force tonight, no doubt brought on by the sweat and dancing from the party. He pulled back the curtain and stepped into the shower, letting the water run down his face, the bits of dried blood flaking off and traveling down his body in crimson streams. He ran his hands through his hair, letting the water flatten whatever curl had managed to come through.

As he showered, he continued to think through the events of the night. He knew he should feel guilty. Elena had made her choice. She had chosen Stefan, just like Katherine had. He was supposed to kill the hunter and then get the hell out of town, let Elena and Stefan get their happy ending. But honestly, he didn’t feel even remotely guilty. He felt satiated from the blood and alcohol. He felt pride at Elena’s success tonight. He felt jealous. Jealous that he was merely stepping in as a replacement for who Elena really wanted. Hell, she had told Bonnie that tonight. _I should be here with Stefan_ she had said. But mostly, he was mad. Mad that this girl still had so much control over him. She rejected him, more than once, openly loved his brother, and yet the minute she whimpered for assistance, Damon swooped in to save her. He was mad at her and mad at himself. She had to know he would always save her, yet, even though she tossed him aside, she asked for his help. He was angry with himself. How many times could he get rejected by a Petrova doppleganger and still follow them around like a lost puppy?

Feeling the water start to run cold, he shut it off and stepped into the steamy room. Drying himself with the towel, he used the corner to clear a section of the foggy mirror. He stared at his reflection for a moment, ice blue eyes staring back at him, hair flat against his head. He quickly ran a comb through his hair, careful to maintain its flatness and not encourage any curls. Damon decided it wasn’t any use locking himself in this bathroom and sorting through all of his feelings all night, not as if it was going to change anything. He quickly dressed in his original jeans and a shirt and walked back into the bedroom of the hotel.

Bonnie was back and she and Elena were sitting on the edge of the bed, things packed, obviously waiting for him to be finished. He gathered up his own things and gestured to the door.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

The drive back to Mystic Falls was surprisingly quiet. Bonnie was silent from the backseat, choosing to look out the window rather than hold a conversation. Elena had fallen asleep in the front seat, head lolling back and forth on the head rest until finally curling up against the window. Grateful for the silence, Damon drove quickly, letting the glowing yellow lines lead him back home.

He dropped Bonnie off first, not bothering to wake Elena, just offering a short nod as goodbye. She paused and looked at him, almost inquisitively, as if she was looking for something in him. After a moment she turned and walked towards her house, leaving him slightly confused by her behavior. He drove off towards the Gilbert house. As they got closer, he leaned over and gently shook Elena’s shoulder to rouse her. She groaned and rubbed her eyes, sitting up in surprise as she realized where they were.

“Wow, I didn’t mean to sleep the whole way.” She said, stifling a yawn.

“Well, you had a busy day. Needed your beauty sleep I guess.”

He pulled the car up to the front of the house, quickly jumping out to run and open Elena’s door. She gave him a soft smile as she got out of the car, cracking her neck.

“I didn’t know vampires could get sore.” she attempted to joke, probably hoping to ease the tension.

“Yeah we can. It just goes away much quicker than if you were human.” He explained, leading her up the front walkway of her house. They were silent until they paused in front of the door.

“Well then… Good night.” Damon gestured towards her front door. He had turned to leave when she stopped him.

“Damon… I’m sorry. Things got a little heated at the party and… I shouldn’t have let that happen. It’s just that I… I feel like….”

 _This ought to be good_ , Damon thought. “What do you feel, Elena?” He knew how he felt but he had no fucking clue what feelings were turning around in her brain right now.

“When you tell me what a vampire should be, deep down, I believe you.” Damon’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “I think that you’re right, and I—I hate that feeling. Because I don’t want to be…” Elena trailed off, but Damon knew where she was going with her confession.

“You don’t want to be like me.” He gave a small smirk. She sighed, knowing she was caught out. She shook her head as if she was trying to get her thoughts sorted. Damon was curious to know how his kind, caring Elena would somehow spin her confession into something more positive. Before she got the chance, they were both bathed in the light of the hallway. Stefan had opened up the front door, obviously surprised to find them out there.

“Hey.”

“Hey” Stefan replied, stepping out onto the porch to join them.

“What are you doing here?”

“Just hanging out with Jeremy. We had a couple things to talk about.”

Damon was suspicious. If Stefan’s talks with Jeremy were anything like Damon’s, somebody just got compelled. “Any news on the hunter?”

“No, nothing new.”

“Well, then today was a bust.” Damon knew he could spill all the steamy details of their evening but honestly, he was just too drained from the day. Plus, he knew Elena would spill her guilty little guts to him and soon as he left anyways. Stefan couldn’t hit her, but he sure as hell could hit him. Better she tells him than Damon. “She’s all yours.” He turned and walked slowly back to the car alone, leaving Elena standing on the porch with his brother.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 5
> 
> Elena shame spirals. Damon has a plan. Elena agrees. Stefan whines about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness... I did not mean to go this long without an update. But, life got a little nuts. So here we are, back again :)

When Damon returned home from the Gilbert’s, he immediately grabbed a bottle and retreated to his room. He carefully hung up his jacket and returned it to his closet. He grabbed the bottle he had selected from the parlor and poured himself a few fingers. Taking a sip, Damon’s mind drifted to the Gilbert’s house. _Was Elena spilling her guts right now?_ He knew he could beat Stefan in a fight, no problem. But he was getting used to tension-laced peace they had established over the last few days and he found he wasn’t in a hurry to ruin that. Damon walked over to his bed and set the glass down on the table. He tried to read _The Call of the Wild_ but he was having trouble concentrating. He kept waiting for Stefan to barrel through his bedroom door, accusations at the ready, primed for a brawl. Although Damon had no regrets from the day, he knew it would be within Stefan’s rights to be pissed at him. Hours passed, and still no Stefan. Damon eventually fell into a fitful sleep, finally awaking in the early hours of the morning.

He stared up at the ceiling, the party from last night playing like a loop in his head. He closed his eyes, focusing his hearing on the activity in the rest of the house. His ears were met with silence. Obviously, Stefan either never came home, or he had already left for the day. Damon rolled over and grabbed his phone off of his nightstand. There were no new messages or missed calls. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. _Was Stefan ignoring him?_

Never one to shy away from conflict, especially on his terms, Damon went through his contacts and selected his brother’s name. As he held the phone to his ear, Damon wondered what Stefan would have to say to him. Yell at him? Maybe use his disappointed voice complete with a judgey face Damon was sure would come through the phone? He didn’t have a chance to find out his answer because after a few rings, he was disconnected. Damon pulled the phone away from his ear in confusion. Even if Stefan was pissed, he usually answered when Damon called. He selected Stefan’s name again and waited, listening to the ring. Again, there was no answer. So, either Stefan was super pissed, or something was wrong.

Knowing his brother had a tendency to be overdramatic as well as an excellent brooder, Damon decided not to jump to worse case scenario. If Stefan wouldn’t pick up for him, he knew at least one person he would always answer.

* * *

He didn’t bother ringing the doorbell, choosing instead to walk right into the familiar house. After a quick glance, he knew the only resident could be found upstairs. He bounded up the stairs and paused in front of the door, just as it was being opened. Not waiting for an invitation, he strode into the bedroom.

“Oh..” Elena started to protest, as she moved out of his way. “Excuse me. What are you doing?”

“Where’s Stefan?”

“Ok, good morning to you, too.” Elena tossed her hands upwards in confusion at his abruptness.

Honestly after his shitty night sleep, and the growing concern over his brother’s whereabouts, Damon was not in the mood for niceties. Ignoring her sarcasm, he continued “He’s not answering his phone and he’s not here, which, you know, big deal, we’ve only got a killer vampire hunter on the loose.”

“I haven’t talked to him yet today.”

“Hmm..” Damon wondered if he wasn’t the only recipient of his brother’s silent treatment. “Give me your phone. Maybe he’s dodging me.”

Elena immediately began to dig around in her bag for her phone. “Why would he be dodging you?”

Damon fought back a scoff. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe the hot, sweaty, dance party business? I figured you spilled your guilty little guts to him right after I left last night.”

Elena glanced down at her bag, choosing to focus on locating her phone rather than hold his gaze. Her lips came together to form a thin line. She looked anywhere but at him as she handed him the phone.

Understanding crossed Damon’s face. “Ooh, you didn’t tell him, did you?” he deduced with a smirk. Enjoying the way Elena’s face filled with shame, obviously remembering last night.

“No, Damon. I didn’t tell him that I got high on blood like some crack head and then dirty danced with you.” Elena finally looked up at him, catching his eye.

Damon didn’t even try to fight back his cocky grin. He was enjoying Elena’s shamefilled recollection of the events of last night. Elena quickly glanced back down, realizing what she had said. “It was a mistake, okay? I wasn’t… myself. And besides, he’s already got enough to deal with, trying to get me though this vampire stuff.”

He knew she was deflecting. She had felt alive last night, possibly for the first time since her transition. She could deny it all she wanted, let the guilt try and take over, but he knew the truth. “Oh I see. This is classic shame spiral.” He found Stefan’s name and selected it, letting his words sink in as he put the phone on speaker.

Elena shook her head at him, rolling her eyes. “I’m not in a shame spiral.”

“Oh you so are. Newbie vampire remorse? Whoof, it’s worse than a hangover.”

“I’m not in a shame spiral, Damon!” she continued to argue, getting more and more defensive.

He was just prepping for a classic _yes you are, no I’m not_ argument, when he was interrupted by the sound of Stefan’s voicemail. He hung up the phone, pausing to look at Elena. She glanced up at him with confusion and worry.

“So, either he’s dodging both of us…”

“Or somethings wrong.” Elena finished.

“Well given the fact that you did not enlighten your boyfriend on how you spent your evening last night, I’m going to with option B.”

Elena narrowed her eyes at his statement. Before she could react, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

“Is that Stefan?” Elena asked, moving closer to try and get a look at the message he had gotten.

Damon read over the message twice, giving his head a little shake in between. It was from Jeremy, sent to him, Stefan, and Tyler Lockewood.

“It’s not Stefan, but we have other problems.” He held out his phone, letting Elena read the message. Her eyes widened as she took in the text. She looked up at him, fearful.

“Why was that sent from Jeremy, Damon?” she asked, already knowing the answer but waiting for him to confirm it.

“Because little Gilbert is a magnet for trouble.” He shoved his phone back into his pocket and firmly grabbed Elena by the shoulders. “Listen, he’s going to be fine. We’re going to go to Tyler’s and come up with a plan, okay?” She looked up at him through wide eyes, pupils wide with fear and concern for her brother. He could tell she was on the edge of panicking but she seemed to be momentarily soothed by his words. “Let’s go. I’ll call Tyler in the car and you can try Stefan again.” She gave a small nod and grabbed her jacket, following him out her bedroom door.

As she followed him down the stairs, she reached out and gently grabbed his arm, a few inches above his wrist. At first, he turned to see what she needed, but she didn’t say anything and continued to follow him out the front door and to his car. It seemed as though she just needed someone to ground her. Although Jeremy was always finding trouble, Damon doubted it ever got any easier for Elena to deal with, especially with her emotions heightened from her transition. Damon led her out to the car, Elena continuing to hang onto his arm. He was almost sad he had parked so close, because when she got to the passenger side door, she removed her hand and quickly got in. He shook off the swirl of thoughts and feelings and forced himself to focus on the topic at hand. Saving little Gilbert, and honestly most likely the stupid quarterback. Because, tweedle dee seemed to never be far from tweedled dum lately.

* * *

Tyler was already opening the door as they approached the front of the Lockewood mansion. He had confirmed he had received the same text when Damon called him from the car. They were still not having any luck reaching Stefan, but Elena had sent him a text, letting him know to meet them at the Lockewood’s.

Elena seemed to have calmed down on the ride over, ready to make a rescue plan and put an end to this hunter. They were just starting to brainstorm ideas, when Stefan appeared around the corner. Elena popped up from the couch and hurried over to him, hugging him as if he hadn’t just been MIA in her hour of need. Damon felt a twinge of jealousy at her unwavering love and forgiveness of his brother. Stefan had just disappeared all morning, leaving him and Elena worried about his safety, leaving him to help Elena through the fallout of Jeremy’s text, and then Stefan appears, received with open arms.

“Where the hell have you been?” Damon demanded, eager to let his brother know that his absence would not be so easily excused with him.

“Coming up with a plan.” Stefan replied, as if that should have been obvious.

“Yeah, we have a plan. The plan is I’m going to rip Connor’s heart out and I’m going to feed it to him.”

“That’s not a plan. We need to be careful. Connor has Jeremy and who knows how many other hostages.”

“Hence the open-heart surgery.” Damon smiled at the mental image. This hunter needed to pay for all the shit he had put them through. Stefan still looked skeptical.

“Damon’s right. Connor’s strong, but he’s not going to be able to take all of us.”

Elean’s words cut through Damon’s mental image. Did Elena just say he was right? Did she just agree with him? Over Stefan? A moment later, Tyler was agreeing, adding that he had asked the hybrids for help too. Both Elena and Tyler backing his plan over Stefan’s? This was turning into a strange day. Before Stefan could respond, Caroline was returning from her phone call with her mom.

“My mom put squad cars blocking the streets. They’re saying it’s a faulty gas main. We’re good to go.”

Damon gave her a nod. “Good. Great. No cop, no witnesses, no reason to wait around.”

Stefan held up his hand, pausing everyone’s motion towards the door. “All right, hold on. You’re not all going.”

Tyler interrupted, “He shot me like 9 times. If we’re killing him, I want in.”

“He’s got Jeremy, I’m going.” Elena argued.

Stefan didn’t back down. “Listen, nobody is going anywhere until I figure out what we’re walking into.”

Damon moved closer to his brother. After knowing someone for over a century and half, you start to pick up on their tells. Something wasn’t right with Stefan. “Until _you_ figure it out? Is that where you’ve been all morning, out buying bossy pants?”

Stefan tried to defend himself and his newfound desire for leadership, but all Damon could hear was lies and excuses. Deciding it would be easier to bend, he gave Stefan one hour to observe and plan his rescues before Damon initiated plan OHS (Open Heart Surgery). He asked about Bonnie but of course the witch was useless, right when some witchy woo was just what they needed. Damon stormed out, leaving a very determined Stefan in his wake.

* * *

“Liz… Liz!” Damon called as he ran across the street, hailing down his favorite cop. He slowed as she turned her head and waited for him to reach her.

“Damon, I’m glad you’re here. I’ve got all my guys shutting down the surrounding streets- claiming faulty gas line again. So, there shouldn’t be anyone in the area for the next few hours. I heard you and Stefan have a plan?”

Damon scoffed. “Well Stefan and I had a little difference of opinion on how to proceed… so I graciously gave him an hour to fuck around with his plan before we go with the better option- my plan.”

Liz gave a slight shake of her head. “Damon.. I don’t think now’s the time to be fighting with your brother. We have a hostage situation, civilians, human lives on the line here.”

“Don’t you worry, Sherriff. Once Stefan realizes his plan is terrible, he’ll come groveling back to me and operation OHS will be primed and ready.”

“I really don’t think I want to know what OHS stands for… “

Damon gave her his most cynically charming smirk. “Well… let’s just say--“

Liz held up her hand to stop him. “Just stop.” She cringed. “I don’t want to know, as long as it gets everyone out safely, I’m on board. So, what else do you need from me?”

Damon glanced around the square. A nearby apartment building caught his eye. “My evil not so evil rescue plan is already in motion. I just needed a base camp and I think I know the perfect place.” He paused to look Liz in the eyes. “Once everything is secure around here, make sure to get yourself home and lock your door. Don’t want you mixed up in all of this.”

“Sure, Damon. And hey- be safe, okay?” Liz responded, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze. She grabbed her radio and began giving commands to her officers as she walked away towards the barricades.

Damon took off towards the direction of the apartment building, the plan continuing to take shape in his mind.

* * *

It still looked the same as it had the last time he had been here. There were still papers spread out on the table, empty glasses in the sink, and a half empty bottle on the counter. Damon walked over and grabbed the liquor. He gave the bottle a quick raise to the sky before taking a short pull. As he walked around Ric’s apartment, he noticed how every surface was beginning to accumulate a thin layer of dust. He wondered what would happen to the place when no one paid this month’s rent. _What would they do with the stuff?_ He was considering paying for the apartment himself when his phone began to ring. He grabbed it out of his pocket but paused when he saw the name.

“Hello, Elena.” He answered, not having it in him to be clever right now. He took another pull from the bottle he was carrying.

“Damon, where are you? Stefan took off to learn more about this hunter and the situation at the grill right now and I’m going crazy just sitting here at Tyler’s doing nothing!”

Damon looked around the room. “I’m at Ric’s apartment. It’s right across from the grille so it’ll give us a good viewpoint to finish planning out how we’re gonna do this.”

“Good idea. I’m on my way.” With a click, she hung up. Damon set the near empty bottle on the table and walked over to the front window of the apartment. He peered out the blinds and tried to see what was happening at the grill. He watched for several minutes but he couldn’t make out anything unusual. In fact, if it wasn’t for the text he’d received from Jeremy, the grill looked as if it was closed like any other morning.

 _This is ridiculous_ he thought. Why were they waiting for Stefan to do his “recon” work, when his plan was the more obvious choice? Damon reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone again. He clicked on Stefan’s name and waited for the ring, but he was met instead with a busy signal. Who could his brother be talking to that was so important?


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena worries. Damon soothes. World's quickest scuffle ensues. Stefan's shady AF.

About 15 minutes later, Damon heard the sound of feet on the stairs. The footsteps continued but paused outside of the door. He realized that this was probably the first time Elena had also been to Ric’s apartment since he’d died. Damon knew she was taking a moment to gather herself. After a few seconds, she walked through the door, eyes scanning the room. When she saw Damon peering out the window, she hurried over to join him.

“What’s happening?”, she asked, seeming to standing a little closer to him than was necessary.

Damon did not turn to acknowledge her, instead, he kept his eyes turned to the window. “I’m bird watching”, he replied, dryly.

Elena gave a huff of frustration and turned away from him. She began pacing around the room, straitening bookshelves, and organizing the items left on the counter. She was obviously just looking for something to keep her mind busy.

“I was trying to see if I could see anything happening across the street, at the grill.” Damon finally answered, not enjoying the tense silence any longer.

“And?”

“I can’t see anything. That hunter’s got the place shut tighter than a hooker’s legs in church.” He turned his face slightly so he could watch Elena out of the corner of his eye. She rolled her eyes at his crassness, but he thought he saw it followed by the slightest trace of a grin on her face. He moved away from the window. “See for yourself.” He shrugged.

Elena switched places with him and opened the blinds to play lookout. Meanwhile, Damon decided he was going to take stock of the apartment, see what sort of weird vampire hunter crap Ric had lying around. He rummaged through a few drawers in the kitchen but didn’t find anything more than a few capless pens, a pack of matches, and a wine bottle opener. He found that last one a little funny considering Damon couldn’t think of a time they actually drank wine in this apartment. Then again, maybe Damon wasn’t the only houseguest Ric had over, but still… a wine bottle opener? For the hundredth time, he wished his friend was back, even if it was just to rip into him about the fruity pink wine shit Ric was probably drinking during his Friday night bubble bath.

Damon was just moving on to look through the wooden chest that was stationed against the side wall of the living room, when Elena made a questioning noise, as she continued to peer out the apartment window. “What?” Damon asked, pleased to find he had located a good chunk of Ric’s weapons. He began pulling them out and placing them on the nearby table.

“Stefan’s out there…”

Damon paused. “Outside?”

Elena nodded, “Yeah and he’s on the phone.”

Damon gave an acknowledging grunt and continued to pull items out of the wooden chest, setting his sights on a rolled item towards the bottom.

“Who is he talking to?” Elena questioned.

“Bonnie, hopefully. Maybe she’s decided to make herself useful again.” After he moved a few of the larger items out of the way, he reached down and grasped what he was looking for. He took it towards the large dining table and began unrolling it.

The sound of rustling paper pulled Elena from her post at the window. “What is that?”

“It’s our way in, courtesy of Alaric Saltzman’s interest in the Mystic Falls underground railroad.” He examined the unfurled map with interest, smoothing out the edges, before taking a picture on his phone.

“The tunnels,” Elena pieced together, “Like the ones in the Lockewood cellar.”

“Yu-“ Damon was interrupted by the sound of Elena’s cellphone ringing from inside her bag. She quickly fished it out and gave Damon a quick glance when she saw who was calling. He gave her an almost imperceptible nod, and Elena quickly answered and turned it on speakerphone.

“What did you find out?”

“I could only make out the voices.” Stefan’s reply, slightly muffled from the speaker.

“How many hostages?”

“Three, but, Elena, it’s Matt, and April Young”

Damon groaned internally. Of course… he just _knew_ the fucking quarterback would get himself wrapped up in all of this.

“What?!” Elena asked, alarmed.

“Those two idiots. They’re like danger magnets” he muttered.

“We have to get them out of there.”

“Yeah, I just need a little more time.” Stefan pushed back.

Damon was about over Stefan’s newfound ‘lonewolf’ attitude. “Clock’s ticking brother.”

“You know, I could do without the color commentary.” Stefan didn’t wait for a reply, ending with the call with a click.

Elena waited a beat, then turned towards the front door, “I’m going in those tunnels.”

 _Always the martyr_ , Damon thought as he reached out and grabbed her arm. “No, you’re not. This guy doesn’t know you’re a vampire. Let’s keep it that way.” He yanked her towards him so that she had to turn and face him.

She took a step forward, closing the gap between them. He felt the space charge, almost as if he was being pulled towards her. Her brow creased in worry, “Well maybe that’s it. I can offer myself in exchange for the hostages.” Anger raced through him. _Why did this beautiful, stupid girl, always insist that sacrificing herself was the answer?_ He moved towards her another inch, surprisingly she didn’t back away.

“No! Best case scenario is, now you’re a hostage. Worst case scenario- he figures you out, kills you on the spot.” He gave her arm another pull, stopping her from leaving and making a huge mistake.

They looked at each other for a moment. He could feel her anger, fear, and frustration rolling off of her, adding to the tension in the air, but he didn’t back down. He would _not_ let this woman use herself as a sacrificial lamb… again. Finally, Elena broke by yanking her arm out of Damon’s grasp and taking a step backwards.

“Stop treating my like I can’t handle myself. Alaric trained me, and I’ve been practicing with Stefan.

Damon growled in frustration. _Why didn’t she get it!_ It didn’t matter if she had been training for hundreds of years by all the world’s black belts. Damon was _never_ going to be okay with sending her into a fight, especially when that fight included a super charged jacked up hunter. He would always protect Elena.

He remembered the first moment he felt that innate need to protect her run through him.

_It was almost like a compulsion, as if he had to do it, as if it was his job to keep her alive. It was the night of the Halloween carnival, during the early months of him coming to town. He had only recently flipped his humanity switch back on, although to be honest, he wasn’t even sure his humanity worked anymore at that point. Stefan had called him, surprisingly, and had asked for his help at the school. When he got there, he stumbled across a weeping Elena, kneeling by the body of Vicky, the slutty cheerleader he had just turned a few days before. As he approached her, he was confused by how his stomach twisted when he noticed she was crying. Did he care? Could he even care anymore? He remembered being rude to her, trying to rush her off the scene so that he wouldn’t have to think about her anymore, but she fought back, blamed him even. She blamed him for Vicky’s death, yelled and pushed him away. He tried convincing her he didn’t care. He was a humanity-less vampire. He didn’t have to care about things like death and remorse. But she saw right through him. She told him that it matters and that he knew it. He remembered being surprised at her ferociousness. It was very Katherine of her. Unwilling to waver from his portrayal of a carefree attitude, he refused to back down. Then, she actually slapped him, hard. Damon had killed people for less, much less, but, he let her walk away. Actually told her to go. He tried to convince himself it was just because of her uncanny likeness to her predecessor, but deep down he knew it was more than that. Later that evening, he found himself back on the Gilbert front porch, not for revenge, but to offer his help. The look Elena gave him when he agreed to help her and her brother, was one he would never forgot. She saw him as a person, as someone capable of good._

Even though Damon has done some truly terrible things since then, Elena had always seen the good in him. He would protect that girl until his last breath.

“So what?” Damon argued, yelling across the room to Elena’s back. She was already moving towards the door. Now you’re going to take on a professional killer?”

She huffed, turning back around to face him. Damon took her pause as his chance to prove his point. He vamped to the bed and drew a stake gun on her. “Bang, you’re dead. Now what?”

Elena narrowed her eyes, clearly annoyed at his sneak attack. All of a sudden, a look of determination crossed her face and she disappeared into a rushing blur. She grabbed the gun out of his hand and pushed him flat on the bed, knees spread on either side with the stake gun pointed at his heart.

Damon was genuinely taken off guard by this turn of events. He was having trouble focusing on anything but Elena sitting astride his lap, but he forced his eyes up to her face.

“Head shot’s no good. It has to be the heart, so now you’re dead.”

“Huh” he managed, breathing heavily, but not due to the scuffle they had just had. Elena locked eyes with him. Time seemed to slow. He noticed her breath was coming in heavy as well, matching his. They were pressed so closely together that every rise and fall of his chest was lifting her body in the air just slightly. Damon chuckled as he gently nudged the stake a few inches to the right of his heart, just in case she got a little trigger happy. “For someone who doesn’t want to be like me, you sure are good at it.” Damon rested his hand on top of hers, which was still holding the gun.

“My brother is the only thing that’s holding me together right now, Damon. If anything happens to him…” She trailed off, afraid to even finish her thought.

“We’ll get him out. I promise”

* * *

Damon continued to search through Ric’s apartment, looking for anything that might be useful against the hunter. He managed to find another stake gun, and a few regular pistols, and a fucking crossbow. Why Ric needed a crossbow was beyond him. Elena reclaimed her post as lookout. She stood by the window, peering through the blinds at the view down below. She nervously chewed her lip and kept digging in her pocket to check her phone for messages. Finally, Damon couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m gonna call Stef. See where he is on operation Recon.”

Elena gave a short nod, not ever breaking her stare out the window.

Damon stepped outside the front door of Ric’s apartment. He needed a quick breather. Spending hours combing through your dead best friend’s stuff, wasn’t exactly on his top 10 list of things to do.

“Stefan, it’s me. What the hell is the hold up? Elena’s losing her mind up here.”

“I know, Damon. I think I’ve got a plan.”

“You better, because Elena is go-“

Stefan interrupted, “I’m on my way.” Once again, forgoing formalities, Stefan hung up without another word.

Damon rolled his eyes. Seriously, his brother was such a drama queen. Couldn’t give a straight answer if he tried. He gave himself a moment to collect himself, and then he went back into the apartment. Elena was still peering out the window, using her fingers to spread apart the blinds to give herself a better view. “Stefan’s on his way. This will be over soon,” he reassured.

Elena turned away from the window and lifted a hand to her forehead. “Will it? I mean haven’t we already been here before with Jeremy? Isn’t this why we sent him to Denver?” He could hear her voice tightening, getting higher in pitch. She was starting to panic again. He moved closer to her. Hoping his closeness would somehow ground her.

“Well, we’ll get him out of this, and we’ll compel him down to the Bahamas. Maybe he’ll find an island girl.” He waggled his eyebrows, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of her. She was working herself into a panic, she just needed to relax and trust the plan.

She turned her head and gave him an annoyed look. Just then, they both heard the front door open.

“Did you find the tunnel map?” Stefan asked, as he pulled the door closed behind him.

“Got it. It was in his weapons drawer with seven stakes, and a weird McGyver crossbow and the last remaining vervain in Mystic Falls. So… how about we get this party started?” Damon was eager to get operation OHS off the ground.

Stefan held up a hand. “Not yet, Klaus is sending in one of his men. He’ll take the front and you and I can take the tunnels.”

 _What? Since when was Klaus volunteering hybrids for human rescue duty?_ “Since when do we team-up with Klaus and the lollipop guild?”

“Well, I already told you, Connor has werewolf venom. We need someone to draw his fire, the hybrids are immune to it, so they’re our best bet.”

Damon was not convinced. This whole thing smelled fishy to him. “How are you sure he even has werewolf venom? Why is Klaus involved, Stefan?”

“Stop being paranoid, Damon.” Stefan turned and reached to grab something off the table behind him.

“Start telling the truth… Stefan.” Damon retorted, refusing to backdown. “Why is Klaus involved? Did he compel you?” _That’s the only possible reason Stefan would ‘willingly’ bring Klaus into their plan._

Stefan turned back around to face him. “I am telling you the truth. This is the best way to get everyone out.” The brothers stared at one another, anger rolling off of them.

“What is with you two? We’re wasting time!” Elena bust out.

Damon turned to look at her. “You know, she’s right. Screw your plan. I’ll kill Connor myself.” He moved towards the door and heard Elena following behind him, when all of a sudden, everything went dark.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 5
> 
> Damon's pissed. Stefan's still sketchy but now with purpose. Elena's playing hero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo ya'll it's been a minute. I have some time this Thanksgiving break so hopefully I can bank up some chapters so I won't go so long between updates. But for now, enjoy!

He was underwater. The weight of the ocean above him was pushing down on his chest, trapping him where he lay. He knew he couldn’t die from drowning, but that didn’t mean he wanted to test it. He could hear that Elena was there. She was mumbling to him, things he couldn’t understand. He tried to move, tried to go towards her so he could pull her up to the surface, rescue her from the darkness. He groaned with the effort of trying to swim to her.

“Damon.. Damon!” Elena called to him faintly. He let out another small whimper, trying to force his arms to cooperate.

“Damon… hey.” Elena’s voice was closer now, not as muffled by the ocean around her. He could feel her hands on his shoulders in a comforting grasp. Slowly, he eased his eyes open, surprised to find he was not at the bottom of the ocean at all. He was lying on Ric’s couch, Elena bent down next to him, face full of concern. With great effort, he turned to look at her. She searched his face for signs of distress, finding none, panic creeped back into her voice. “Damon, can you get up?”

It all started rushing back to him; meeting Elena at Ric’s, his fight with Stefan, and everything going black. “Where’s Stefan?” he groaned, squinting his eyes against his still unfocused vision. “I’m gonna kill him.” As he took inventory of his body, it didn’t take long for him to realize that Stefan had vervained him. He braced himself and made to sit up on the couch. He quickly lowered his body back down as the sunrays burned his skin. “Ow” he gasped, grabbing his still sizzling hand, pulling it down to his chest.

“He took your ring?” Elena ran her fingers gently over his hand, pausing at his now empty ring finger. “Why would he do that?”

Damon gathered himself and barrel rolled off of the couch onto the floor. Elena stepped back out of his way. He crawled on the floor until he was out of reach of the offensive sunrays coming in through the window. “Because, he’s playing us” he grunted. Brain spinning to fill in the blanks of the last hour. “All this stalling, getting the hybrids, taking my ring, add it up.” Still fighting the remnants of the vervain still coursing through his system, he pulled himself off of the floor with a stifled groan. He paused for a moment, leaning over to catch his breath. “He’s either made a deal with Klaus or he’s compelled.” Honestly, Damon wasn’t sure which one he was rooting for. Compelled Stefan’s a dick but at least he has a legitimate reason for his shadiness, a Stefan who makes secret deals seems a hell of a lot more complicated.

“Then I need to get in there.” She turned towards the door.

Fear filled his body _Protect Elena_ it seemed to shout. “No Elena, this guy is dangerous!”

She spun around to face him. “So am I Damon.” Elena spit out with a growl. Her jaw was set, eyes flashing with anger but still in control. He could feel the power rolling off of her. She was beautiful. Her chest heaved with the effort of restraint. He could see that she had made up her mind about who she was and what she was capable of. Damon had never seen her look more alive. He met her eyes, giving a slight nod.

“Then you need to be smart.” He demanded, voice low and gravelly, still not fully recovered from Stefan’s sneak attack. “He doesn’t know you’re a vampire, you get as close as you can…” he paused, bringing his head up to meet her gaze fully, “and kill him.” He watched as the very edges of her mouth curved up at the prospect of killing this man who had tried to hurt her family. She nodded at his words and turned and rushed out the door.

Now that Elena was gone, he collapsed onto the couch once more, careful to pull the drapes together to block out the sun. He held his head in his hands as he waited for the rest of the vervain to leave his system and he formulated a plan. He had told Elena to go and kill the hunter, but he had no intentions of letting her attempt this rescue mission solo, especially being so unsure of Stefan’s intentions. As he sat, he could feel his body returning to normal, his breath came easier and the pounding in his head retreated to just a dull humming. He got up and walked over to the kitchen table, reexamining the maze of tunnels that ran under the town of Mystic Falls. Finding what he was looking for, he ran his hand down the side of his face and sighed. _This was going to hurt._

* * *

Damon pushed open the heavy basement door, letting it close with a thud behind him. According to the map upstairs in Ric’s vacant apartment, the entrance to one of the tunnels was on the other side of one of these walls. He walked around the perimeter of the room, letting his fingers trace against the wall, picturing the map upstairs as he walked. He paused when he found the right spot. All he needed to do was get through about 10 feet of concrete, rebar, and sand, and he’d been in the clear. He glanced up at the ceiling, mentally and physically preparing himself. He tightened and untightened his fists as he took a step closer to the wall. He focused all his strength and punched into it. A crack about 6 inches long appeared on the wall, little chinks of concrete hitting the floor as the dust settled. Damon shook out his hand and hit it again. The crack elongated as more and more dust filled the air. His fist moved so quickly that to a human eye, only a blur would appear. After a few minutes, Damon began alternating his hands, not giving the wall a moments rest as he beat against it. 

After a few minutes, Damon paused for a moment and examined his hands. He could tell at least 8 of his fingers were broken. His knuckles were bloody and covered in dust. As he gathered his strength, he could feel the bones in his fingers already begin to heal themselves. Part of him wanted to take a break, even though he was a quick healing vampire, that didn’t mean breaking all of your fingers against a concrete wall didn’t fucking hurt. His mind drifted to Elena. She was making her way towards the Grille at that very moment, getting ready to take on the hunter alone. That thought spurred Damon to resume his relentless assault against the wall. Eventually, he felt the it give way and when he paused, there was an opening about the size of his head in front of him. He used his hands to expand the opening until he crawled through.

The smell hit him like a ton of bricks. Damon brought the crook of his elbow up to his nose to try and block out the smell. It didn’t take long to realize he had broken through into a septic tank. His feel squelched as he made his way through the septic tank. Cursing his brother with every movement, he quickly kicked himself through the tank wall and found himself in one of the tunnels. The septic tank experience had disoriented him, so he wasn’t exactly sure where he had ended up. He closed his eyes and attuned his hearing to the noises happening around him. He could hear the dull rumble of cars above him, the sloshing of the septic tank settling, and the faint sound of two sets of feet coming towards him. He began walking towards the sound of feet, increasingly uneasy about who or what he would find.

He heard them before he saw them. He heard the scuffle of the hunter’s gate as Stefan undoubtedly pushed him along. Why the hunter was still upright and walking was beyond him.

“Ow.. ow!” Damon heard the hunter cry out as he and Stefan came around the bend. Stefan had then hunter by the neck with one hand and his hands clasped behind his back with the other.

“Good work, Brother” Damon jeered.

Stefan snapped his head up to meet Damon’s eyes. His own eyes widened in surprise. “It’s over, Damon, I have him.”

Damon scoffed, “Not after what I just wen though. I had to punch through a boiler room basement into a septic tank to get into this stupid tunnel. But it’ll be worth it.” He could feel his mouth water at the prospect.

“I’m taking him with me.”

“You’re not. I don’t know what you’re up to or what Klaus has over you, but even if I have to go through you, I’m going to kill him,” Damon responded, determined to make Stefan understand how this situation was going to end.

Stefan didn’t move, holding his gaze. Damon took a step towards his brother, taking his silence as concession.

“Better back off, Damon.” Stefan tightened his hold on the hunter, pulling him back towards himself.

“Why?” Damon challenged, “because Klaus wants him alive?”

“This has nothing to do with Klaus, you’re just going to have to trust me on that.”

Damon continued his walk towards the pair, “Don’t want to, don’t have to, not gonna. You can give him to me, brother.” He didn’t understand what Klaus possibly had over his brother to inspire such “loyalty”.

“Run as fast as you can.” Stefan urged the hunter as he shoved him back the way they had come. He turned to face Damon, teeth bared. He lunged towards him, as if attacking his prey. He grabbed him by the neck and forced him up against the wall. “You’re not going to kill him!” Stefan growled.

Damon was beyond pissed now. He was tired, stunk like shit, and just got manhandled by his brother in a grungy underground tunnel. He heaved himself off of the tunnel wall and forced Stefan into the opposite wall. He ran over to him and flipped him around to face him. “Why are you protecting him?” He shoved him up against the wall, using his forearm on his chest to keep Stefan flat against the wall. As he met Stefan’s eyes, he saw the look of determination. He could feel Stefan try and push away from him. Damon was going to have to raise the stakes to get some answers. He left his arm cross Stefan’s chest to leave him in place and lifted his right hand and made towards his chest. Wide-eyed, Stefan realized what he was trying to do and began to struggle even more. Stefan watched as Damon pushed his hand through his shirt, skin, and even ribcage until he met his target. He was holding his own brother’s heart in his hand. He could feel the borrowed blood pool around him, lukewarm to the touch. Stefan’s beatless heart sat idly in his palm, waiting for his next move.

“Tell me!” Damon growled, baring his teeth at the effort to keep Stefan from moving.

Stefan took a few gasping breaths, groaning at the feeling of Damon’s hand in his chest. “Klaus will kill anyone who knows!” he choked.

Damon readjusted his fingers so that they were firmly around Stefan’s heart and a give a slight twist, not enough to kill him, but enough to persuade him to continue. “Then it has to be good. Spill it.”

Stefan paused as he sputtered, either from the pain or from his unwillingness to respond. All too eager to persuade, Damon gave Stefan’s heart another twist, adding a pull for good measure. “Spill it!”

Stefan gasped but conceded. “Connor’s tattoo is the key to a cure.”

Damon shook his head in confusion, “The cure for what?”

“For her. For Elena.” Stefan groaned and met Damon’s eye. Having been brothers for almost 150 years, Damon knew when his little brother was lying. There was only truth on his face now. Damon tried to wrap his head around what Stefan had just said.

“Klaus told you there’s a cure for vampirism?”

“And if Connor dies then we’ll lose it forever. I know it’s crazy Damon, but its hope. Do you understand me?”, Stefan gasped, Damon’s hand still deep inside his chest, “It’s her only hope!”

Damon froze, his body frozen while his mind worked through what Stefan had just told him. _A cure_. A piece of him knew it was impossible. _If there was a cure for vampirism, someone would have found it by now._ The other part of him knew his brother. He knew Stefan would not have taken all of these risks if Klaus hadn’t somehow convinced that this “cure” was real. Damon slowly looked away as he removed his hand from Stefan’s chest. Stefan took a rattling breathe as his body already began to heal itself. Damon’s eyebrows knit together in thought as his mind raced through the possibilities. _Does the cure really exist? Can we really get it for Elena? Do I even want Elena to be cured?_ The last question would haunt him for days to come.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 Episode 5
> 
> Damon cares. Stefan cares. Elena's broken.

Damon couldn’t seem to make his mind fully comprehend what his brother had said. _A cure?_ He had seen and heard of some crazy shit in his life, but he had never even heard rumblings of a cure for vampirism. If there really was a cure, why had no one else heard of it? As he watched Stefan lean against the stone wall, catching his breath, his mind raced with questions.

“Klaus told you there’s a cure for vampirism. We need the hunter alive to find it, and you’ve been helping Klaus to make that happen.”

Stefan cleared his throat and rose until he was fully upright again, twisting his torso from side to side, no doubt trying to shake out the last remaining feelings of a hand being wrapped around his heart. “Yes, and so far, we have succeeded. No thanks to you."

Damon clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes, “Not exactly my fault since you decided to be hush hush Bob’s your uncle with your new original bestie.”

“You were-“

Stefan and Damon both froze as they heard a door slam from down the hall. In a flash, they made their way back towards the grille, stopping when they stumbled across a small pool of blood. Damon knelt down and sampled it with his finger.

“It’s human.”

Stefan gave a quick nod and they both breathed a small sigh of relief as they continued back towards the grill. As they walked out of the backroom, they found the body of the hybrid that had been blown to bits and Jeremy Gillbert, shirt drenched in blood, leaning back against the far wall.

“Damn it, Gillbert.” He muttered, rushing over to him. He started to roll back his sleeve to bite the inside of his wrist. Jeremy reached out a hand to stop him.

“Damon, I’m fine. Elena already gave me some of her blood. It’s just taking a little longer because the wound was so deep.” Jeremy grimaced as he pushed himself more upright. Damon offered out a hand and pulled him to his feet. He watched Jeremy flick his eyes to the bloody circle on Stefan’s shirt, but he asked no questions.

“Where’s Elena?” Stefan asked.

“She… she just left…” Jeremy responded, nervously.

Damon tilted his head, “Left? Left where? Where’s the hunter?”

Jeremy looked down, shifting his eyes, seeming unwilling to stare at anything for too long. “I don’t know where she went… but… she killed him. She took him with her.” His voice had quieted to barely more than a whisper.

Damon heard the sigh behind him as Stefan processed what Jeremy had just told him. _If_ and that was a big _if_ , Stefan was right, then Elena had just ruined her own chances of becoming human again. Not only that, but she had just killed someone; her first someone.

* * *

It didn’t take long for them to work out where she had taken the body. Many a body had been dumped and buried in the woods outside of town. They made their way there in tense silence. As they moved, Damon considered the implications of what Elena had done. She was a vampire now, destined to live forever. He knew it wouldn’t be in the way he wanted her, but the idea of her being in his life forever filled him with a warmth he didn’t know was still possible to feel. Threatening to overtake that warmth, was the waves of guilt he felt for wishing away Elena’s happiness in the form of a human life.

As they walked, Stefan remained stoic and quiet; no doubt lost in his own thoughts of doom and gloom. It wasn’t long before they found her, not far from the edge of town, shovel in hand, and the body of the hunter beside her. She was digging quickly, grunting quietly at each heaping scoop of dirt she removed from the hole. Every few seconds, she would choke back a sob, obviously trying to stay focused on her task at hand. Her mouth was stained with blood. It had dried in neat drips underneath her bottom lip. The brothers approached her cautiously, as if trying not to scare away a frightened animal.

“Elena…”

She gasped and whirled around to face them, shovel landing on the ground with a dull thud. Her whole body shook as she looked at Stefan and then down at the body on the ground. Her breaths came quicker, “I need to bury him.” She bent down and grabbed the shovel, nodding to herself. “I killed him. I should bury him.” She returned to her task, ignoring both Stefan and Damon, scoop by scoop, removing dirt from the ever-growing hole.

Stefan looked back at Damon with a questioning face. Damon had no idea what to do. He had never seen Elena like this. She was quickly unraveling before their very eyes and he felt very much powerless to stop it. Stefan took a few steps forward, reaching out his hand to try and slow her digging.

“Hey. Hey, come on.” He consoled in a soft voice, reaching out to gently grab her shoulder.

“Don’t!” she recoiled away from him, eyes wide, chin still coated in drips of deep crimson blood. She looked almost rabid. “I heard you talking to him. Making some secret deal with Klaus?” she bit out. Stefan remained silent, no doubt reinforcing the legitimacy of her accusation. “You said you were going to protect Jeremy!” her voice broke as she continued her verbal assault. “Keep me from… this.” She gestured to the lifeless body still lying on the ground by her feet. “You said that I could trust you, Stefan!”

Damon winced at her words. _She didn’t understand the bigger picture of today_. Everything Stefan had done, no matter how idiotic, had been for her. In front of him, Stefan remained silent, not pushing back on her accusation, instead allowing her to continue her verbal strike. As much as he hated defending his brother, he knew Elena needed to understand that the events of today weren’t as cut and dry as she may have thought.

“Elena, it’s complicated…”

“No, it’s not complicated, Damon!”

He let his explanation trail off into silence.

“You want to know why? Because… because he’s dead now.” She was crying now, brown eyes glassy with unshed tears. The tears that had already been shed were running down her cheeks and mixing with the dried blood on her chin. “You told me to kill him, so I did.” She stared at him, eyes begging for an answer that would ease her pain. She looked so much like the little 16 year-old girl he had met in the middle of the road all those years ago, lost and looking for answers. It broke his heart that he didn’t have one to give.

Realizing he wasn’t going to answer, she looked down at the body and gasped, “I killed someone… I- I killed someone!” It was as if emotion was leaking out of every part of her body. She was taking in choking breaths, punctuated by erratic sobs breaking through. She took her hand and covered her stomach as if that would someone contain the rush of emotion pouring out of her.

Damon felt sick. He told Elena to kill the hunter, and she did. He held a piece of the blame here. He watched as Elena lost the last grip she had on herself as she descended into hysterics. He felt powerless to help her. He had spent the last few years focused on protecting her and keeping her safe and now he could do nothing to ease the hurt she was feeling. Every sob was like a knife to his heart, twisting and turning until he was sure he would die from the pain. Eventually, he had to turn away from her, unwilling to watch as she crumpled to the ground, overwhelmed by her emotions. He wanted to go to her, but Stefan beat him to it. He walked towards her, arms outstretched again but she flinched away from him.

“No! Stop… just- I need to do this alone. Please!” She sobbed.

Stefan gave a small nod and took a few steps back.

“Let me drive you home then, when it’s done. Please, Elena. I need to make sure you are alright.”

Elena took a shuddering breath and looked up at Stefan. She gave a small nod and rose to her feet, determined to finish digging.

Stefan turned his head to look at Damon. He gave a quick jerk of his head, indicating that they would be alright now, and Damon could leave. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her, but he knew she would be safe with Stefan, and he had something important to do back at the house. So, he turned and walked away, leaving a piece of his heart behind.

* * *

When he reached the boarding house, he made his way directly up the stairs to Stefan’s room. He knew exactly what he was looking for. One of the perks of being brothers for over 150 years was that there were very little secrets between them anymore, at least very few Stefan secrets. Damon found the floorboard rather quickly and pulled it up. Inside, there was box that was locked, so tightly that not even Damon could pry it open. Damon spent a few minutes hunting down the key, which turned out to be a whole key ring, but eventually he got the box open. After a few more locks and keys, he finally had what he was looking for, Stefan’s journal.

Damon poured himself a generous helping of bourbon and settled back into Stefan’s desk chair. He leafed through the first few pages, only semi curious about the inner ramblings of his little brother, especially where high school was concerned. He stopped when he reached what he was looking for. _Klaus_. Stefan had written, in great detail, about Kalus’ claim of the cure. He wrote about how he tricked Rebeca into revealing the location of her hunter lover’s body and how he compelled away Jeremy’s memory of the whole event.

He sighed heavily. Turns out Stefan wasn’t lying, at least, _he_ didn’t believe he was lying. Whatever he had heard from Klaus had convinced him enough to write about it in great detail in his journal. Damon heard Stefan come in and head straight to the bathroom, no doubt to shower off the stench of the day. Damon used the last few minutes alone he had to look closer at other entries in the book. He was reading a particularly dull one about the qualms of high school living when Stefan came into the room, drying off his hair with a towel.

“How is she?” Damon asked as he took another sip of his bourbon.

“Angry, full of guilt. Hasn’t said a word to me other than she wants to be left alone.”

Damon hummed his acknowledgement, giving the journal page a dramatic turn.

“Is that my journal?” Stefan grabbed it out of his hands.

“Had to go through 6 locks to get it. Needed something to back up your insanity. Did you figure out how to tell Klaus you lost a hunter and a hybrid?”

Stefan walked over to the wardrobe and placed his journal on the top shelf. “Well, he’s on a plane which means I get to live for another 6 hours.”

Damon smirked, absentmindedly fiddling with his drink glass, “I got your back, you know, when he comes to murder you.”

“Thanks.” Stefan walked over and poured himself a drink, “And thanks for not saying anything to Elena.”

“About what? A cure that we don’t have, can’t find, and probably doesn’t exist? You’re welcome.”

“She doesn’t need to know that she killed her chance of being human again.” Stefan turned and looked at Damon.

“Alleged chance.” Damon corrected, draining his drink.

“I believe him, Damon. You didn’t hear Klaus’ story. I believed every word he said.”

Damon stood up, “Well I’ll remain the skeptic for now.” He made his way over to the decanter. “So, what’s your next move?”

“He said there was a brotherhood of the five. Which means there are other hunters out there, and I’m just going to keep looking until I find one.”

Damon considered Stefan’s plan. “Sure, Stefan, since you asked, I’d be happy to go on a suicide mission with you for a potentially non-existent cure. Not a problem.”

Stefan chuckled, “Yet a couple hours ago, you were ready to rip my heart out.” He took a sip of his whisky

“Because you were being a pain in the ass.” Damon considered his next words, “ I just need one thing- Why do you want to cure her?”

“What kind of question is that?” Stefan looked around in humored disbelief.

Damon remained unphased, “A legitimate one. Do you want to cure her because she’s a vampire and she’s not cut out to be, or you can’t love her if she is one?” He let his question hang in the air, like an overfilled balloon, waiting to be popped.

“I’ll always love her”, Stefan started, “but she’s not supposed to be this person. I don’t want her to be.”

Damon considered Stefan’s answer. It was about what he anticipated. He knew Stefan was not coping well with Elena’s transition. She was changing, and he was not. Their relationship had been on the rocks ever since. He knew he needed to make clear to his brother about his intentions behind his involvement in this suicide mission.

Well, if I’m going to ride this fairy tale to its conclusion, I wanna be clear about one thing.”

“What’s that?”

Damon took a few steps closer to his brother. “I’m fine with her either way, brother. So, if we do this, we’re doing it for you.” He took a large gulp of his whisky, set his glass on the desk, and walked out of the room, leaving Stefan to consider his words.


End file.
